"Jack the Ripper? No constable, I have never heard of him." - C. H. Spurgeon
"Yes, I had that tattoo removed months ago!"- John Owen
"I've been thinking about writing a Christian mystery novel." - John Calvin
"I need a stamp."- Cornelius Van Til
"Is that pudding on my jacket?"- A. A. Hodge
"I can't babysit tonight. I really need the time to finish my book."- Augustine
"That is the best gravy I have ever tasted!"- B. B. Warfield
"Yes, I plan on writing some scripts for the Lone Ranger. Why?" - C. S. Lewis
"Y'know the Boston Baked Beans candy? That was my idea first." - Thomas Boston
"I really love good music! Listen to this, it's by Slim Whitman."- R. C. Sproul
"Kill that spider! I hate spiders! Kill it!"- William Carey
"No, I won't paint this church house pink!"- A. W. Pink
"Look! I have just invented Pope on a Rope Soap! haha"- Martin Luther
"...and barber, please cut the hair growing on my ears."- Jonathan Edwards
"No, I wasn't looking at you...I was looking at him. It's my eyes y'know." - George Whitefield
"How many people here know my birthday falls on the same day as Spurgeons?"- John MacArthur
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