Last Night at the Velveeta Room

Here is a little bit of my comedy routine at the Velveeta Room:

Announcer: Ladies and gentleman, will you please give a warm welcome to Eddie Eddings!

[applause]

“Alright, thanks everybody! Have you ever run into an annoying Arminian? I used to live in an apartment just above one. He declared his apartment an independent nation, and sued me for "violating his airspace".

...he would always finish his sentences with the words, "in accordance with prophesy"...and he began all his sentences with "ooo la la"...annoying I tells ya.

Of course, Calvinists can be irritating as well...I knew one Calvinist, Bonjo Loopis, who would repeat everything someone said as a question. He would demand that everyone address him as "Conquistador".

One time at church he went around asking people what gender they were. 

Then there was that blogger, Craig Boyd...he would sit in his front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they would slow down. We went out to lunch once and he asked the waitress for an extra chair for his "imaginary friend". 

Thanks everyone, you've been great! See you September 31st! ...and yes, I have a day job.