The Journal of Cotton Adams #20

September 12, 1739

It was an honor and privilege to finally meet George Fitwheel, the famous Calvinistic Methodist evangelist today. His voice is remarkable and astonishingly captivating. I still get a chill down my spine when he says that blessed word, "Mesopotamia". He once was intreated upon to become a singer with the "Barnum and Bill Bailey Won't You Please Come Home Circus of the Stars" in Chicken Beak, New Mexico.

Mr. Fitwheel is also lovingly known as "Dr. Squirt'em" because of the irregular tear duct which will shoot an ounce to an ounce and a half of watery saline a distance of six or seven feet. (Ben Franklin measured this phenominan in the Spring of '37).

I have found George Fitwheel to be a very emotional man, and I have noticed that when he weeps, his eyes cross so extremely that tears flow down his back.

We go our separate ways tomorrow, but I have found in him a kindred spirit, a brother and friend.

The Journal of Cotton Adams #7

May 3, 1738
Here I am come to recruit my strength after being confined for a fortnight with gout and fever, more than usually severe. While I was laid up, I drifted into, what I feel was a demonic attack in my weakened condition. I could not tell what was real or what was delusional.
The McDoogals, a kind family of eighteen who found me by the water well, brought me in and cared for me. At night, when all was quiet, except for a barn owl and a distant coyote, demons seemed to parade in front of me as puppets...speaking to me in a frightening fashion and with wee voices that chilled my blood. Outside the trees took on forms almost human and Calico, my faithful horse, seemed to have strings holding up his frame.
Once my fever broke, I discovered I had been chewing on some "loco weed" as I was writing in my journal. The McDoogals fed me a hearty breakfast and we had church there in the homestead. Mrs. McDoogal packed me a lunch in a rather large sack and placed it in my saddlebags. I witness a strange smile on her face as I galloped away.
I arrived in the nearby town of Ha-weeka-tonka-heeky (a native name meaning "laughing cloud rain on picnic") the next day. While visiting with a pastor there, I found to my surprise that the McDoogals were a family of ventriloquists! Immediately I examined my "lunch" sack and found a dummy that looked like Benjamin Franklin! I made a solemn vow never to return and I still have nightmares to this day.
I also am wearing a loco weed patch on my arm to take away the craving.