Eddie Uncovers the Truth in Hong Kong

I have decided to spare you all the scientific details. Let's just say it involved DNA, a box of Spurgeon cigars, a broken Slim Whitefield record and a single tile from an Emergent Scrabble game. After an intensive forty five minutes, I discovered that Ping Wu, who I thought to be a loyal fan, was in reality a double agent! And I awarded him $10,000 for a photo he had sent. He may be traveling under the name of one of his many aliases: Ling Hu, Ming Tu, Wing Mu, Sing Pu or Opie Taylor. His real name is Satchmo Crockett, a known anti-Calvinist.
I will be heading back to Kuwait now that I know the truth. It's been quite a day.

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The Journal of Cotton Adams #19

September 10, 1739

One former member of the Holy Mackerel Club, a very lean and lanky man by the name of Ichabod Spleen, had some unusual ideas for evangelism. One of which was to use ventriloquism to share the Gospel as if it were being communicated from a squirrel in a tree or a swallow resting on a leafy branch. I later found out he was quite insane as he explained to me how he was raised by lemmings.

September 11, 1789

Had counsel with a delightful fellow by the name of Dr. Jekyll this afternoon. He seemed to be a bit jittery at the end of our talk and abruptly excused himself. He made extreme haste in leaving and in doing so left his hat on his chair. Not ten minutes later, a Mr. Hyde barged into my room and demanded a bottle of whiskey and a box of cigars. I explained I neither drank alcohol or smoked tobacco. He grabbed Dr. Jekyll's hat and slammed the door behind him. I noticed he was wearing the clothes of the good doctor and informed the local authorities of possible criminal activity. They found Dr. Jekyll a few hours later behind the feed store, unharmed but clothes torn and dirty.