Even More Predictions

Vernon Fluffenutter, the pastor of the Church of the Now Ready for End Time Prayers, said his prophecies are 100% accurate or you can stone him if they are not fulfilled by the year 2045!

Here are a few of his latest prophetic utterances he made while in mid-sermon:

On Earth Day in the year 2044, the White House will be repainted and called the Green House. 

An Oprah clone named Koprah will come out with her own magazine called, OK.

In the year 2044 Roman Catholic pope, Fern Tallowitz, will fall into an open manhole. 

Rick Warren's very last book, The Monkey-Driven Evolutionists, will be made into a 3-D TV movie starring Miley Cyrus.

The Federated States of Micronesia, in the year 2043, will declare war on bloggers. Many thousands will lose their lives in the struggle for cyber real estate. 

Church, as we know it, will not be like the church as we know it. But the underground church, as we can imagine, will be just like you imagine.

Frosted Flakes will cease to exist.

Corky Velveeta will be added to Mount Rushmore by mistake.

More Predictions

Not to be outdone by Matt Robertson, 76 year old, Vernon Fluffenutter, 

the pastor of the Church of the Now Ready for End Time Prayers, 

said his prophecies are 100% accurate or you can stone him 

if they are not fulfilled by the year 2044!

The moon, one day when no one is looking, will spin on it's axis and turn upside down.

Richard Dawkins will be bitten by a monkey, a spider and a mongoose, all at the same time.

Aliens will land on the earth in the year 2044 and vacation in Orange county, Florida. The president of the U.S. will give them a key to the city of Fort Lauderdale.

Rick Warren will be the first pastor to have his own solar-driven limo.

A new Bible will hit the bookstores. It will be called, "The Holographic Big Brother Bible". 

In the year 2044, the Mormons and Roman Catholics will merge. The new Mormon Catholics will have a pope who declares all Catholic Saints to be called, "Latter Day Saints". 

Robertson Predicts Future of 2011

Matt Robertson, twin brother of Pat Robertson, 

went on the 700 Club to broadcast these predictions for 2011:

In the year 2011, Haiti will change it's name to Lovi.

Everyone in America will lose their job except for me.

Someone important will die.

Toothaches will be rampant in Georgia.

The Beatles will do one last concert. But only singing ABBA tunes.

I can see trouble ahead for dying atheists in Bosnia.