A Sign of the Times

Just for Laughs # 25

It's back! And just in time for National Laugh Day. Just remember to keep the captions theological in nature. Submit a caption and somewhere on this planet a person will laugh causing a domino effect that will eventually work its way back into your hands as a surprise gift from a distant relative. Try it and see!

The Journal of Cotton Adams #26

October 23, 1739

I took horse at half past three. There was no moon or stars, but a fog so thick that I could see neither road nor rock. I was headed for Bad Manors, a town with a reputation for it's lack of hospitality. The fog quickly vanished as I drew nigh to Bad Manors revealing the dawning of a new day.
As I approached a fork in the road, the mist fell again on every side, blinding me and my horse as well. Because of this, Calico, my faithful steed, stepped on the fork and injured the tender part of his hoof. The pain caused him to throw me into a watery bog and I was covered from head to toe with a putrid layer of mud and vegetation. Thanking God all the while for what could have been a deadly fall on sharp rocks, or a rattlesnake bite instead of a carelessly thrown eating utensil.
I took Calico's reins and walked him into town. After bandaging his foot at the livery stable, I left to find a room and clean myself up. I was scheduled to preach in the evening at the only evangelical church in town.
True to the town's reputation, the innkeeper was extremely rude and rather brash. I took much abuse before I even registered my name. I could take no more when he said with a scowl, "If I had a son who was an idiot, I would make him a preacher!"
"Evidently, your father," I replied, "was of a different opinion."
I picked up my saddlebags and went upstairs.
Feeling more guilty by the minute for my remark, I went back sometime later to apologize to the innkeeper, only to find someone else in his stead.
"Where is the gentleman who was here a few hours ago?"
"They rushed him to the doctor because he discovered he had another mouth to feed!" said the bald-headed man without looking up from his book.
"That doesn't make sense," I stated.
"It does if you have a tapeworm!"
I returned to my room to pray for his well being.
Coincidentally, my sermon tonight is entitled, "Hell - the place where the worm dieth not."

Urgent Prayer Needed - My Daughter has Cancer

My adorable daughter Tammy Osborn

To my friends and spiritual family who read this blog. This has all transpired in literally, a matter of days. My daughter was told that she may have had cancer for the last several years. She is trusting God for everything and she knows this is part of his plan for her life. And she wants to glorify Him and she needs your prayers to do that.
I asked her last night if I could post this letter from my son-in-law. I hope you will not only pray for her but that you will put her name on your Church's prayer list or lift her up in prayer in your Bible study groups.
I will return with humor soon. Right now, every thing seems rather trite in comparison to what my daughter is going through.
Her name is Tammy Osborn. Her husband is Justin. Her precious children are Hunter and Brooklyn Faith.
Here is the letter:

"I would like to thank all of you for the e-mails and messages that we have received. We can't tell you how much we appreciate all the thoughts and prayers.

As you may know, the tumor was removed from Tammy last Friday. We got a phone call last night from the doctor saying that the results were in, and it looks like the cancer has spread to her lymphatic channel, and that he recommends chemotherapy.

In order to get another opinion, we lined up an appointment today with the oncologist. She said very similar things as the other doctor, and in her exact words..."this is the worst of the worst".

In order to confirm these findings, we have an MRI scheduled for this Friday, and a Pet-scan and Sentinel Lymph node Biopsy scheduled for next Tuesday. During this procedure, a Portocath will be inserted in Tammy, and that is how the chemo will go through her body. If those procedures show that the the doctor is correct in his findings (that the cancer has spread to the lymph nodes) then were are dealing with a stage three invasive breast cancer, which is some really serious stuff.

Tammy will be starting Chemotherapy on Thursday, September 17th. This will be a 4 month long process, with the last dose being on 12/23. She will go in every other Thursday for treatment. Once treatment is over, she will be getting a bilateral (double) mastectomy, with reconstructive surgery. Radiation may proceed.

As you can imagine, she is staying amazingly strong through all of this. She has requested a robe like Rocky wore in his boxing movies, only pink....So if anybody knows where I can find one those, let me know. She also has requested the soundtrack to the movies, so that she can constantly hear "Eye of the Tiger". She's ready for the battle that is about to be thrown in the ring with her and she knows that with God on her side, she can knock this thing out."

Eddie here again. One more thing, my wife and I will be flying to Colorado on September 17th and returning to Kuwait on the 26th to help out. This is a difficult time for all involved so prayers are needed all around.

I close with a quote from Spurgeon:
We do not come in prayer only to a place where God dispenses His favors to the poor. Nor do we some to the back door of the house of mercy to receive scraps, though that is more than we deserve. When we pray, we are standing in the palace before God's throne. We are on the glittering floor of the great King's reception room, and thus we are place on advantaged ground.
Shall we come with stunted requests and a narrow, contracted faith? No, for it does not become a King to be giving away pennies. Our God distributes pieces of broad gold. Oh that we always felt this way when we came before the throne of grace! Then He would do "exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think." (Eph.3:20)

Calvinistic Cartoons Tongue Twister Times Two

Wesley's restless wrangling really wearied Whitefield.

Brother Bobby Bueblay brought a big blue and black Bible he bought from brother Bruce Bleebay in Boston.

Why not try one yourself? Sproul is a tongue twister waiting to happen.

Arminian TV Show Bonanza

ABC (The Arminian Broadcasting Company) in association with the 700 Club presents "The Ponder-osa". Join Ben Notright and his sons, Adam, Hoss and Little Joe as they sit around the ranch pondering Arminian theology.
In tonights episode:
When a Calvinist circuit riding preacher, Grant Revelation, (played by Jimmy Steward) is found wounded and beaten by a group of chariamatic outlaws known as, "The Name It and Claim It Gang", Ben takes him to the ranch to recover. During his stay, the preacher convinces the Notrights that the Doctrines of Grace are true. Ben changes the name of his land to the "Wonder-osa" because of the wonderful grace he has been granted from God. He also changes the family name to "Heartright" and starts raising sheep, thus, bringing the series to an end because of the angry Arminian sponsors.
There is a rumor that CBS (The Calvinist Broadcasting System) will pick up the program after the fall.
NBC (Nothing But Charismatics) executives said Friday that they will have nothing to do with the series unless the writers are willing to be slain in the spirit.

Calvinistic Cartoons Tongue Twister Time

Pink paid plenty for preaching predestination with pensive passion and persuasive perspicity.