The Cotton Adams Statue

Corky visits the Cotton Adams statue in Calico County. To read all about Cotton and his adventures just click on cotton adams in the labels section below. Then just keep scrolling down and follow the "older posts". It's Calvinistic history, I tells ya! 

Arminian Antics #79

Arminian Antics #5

I just don't know what to say...

The Journal of Cotton Adams #28

For your reading pleasure and demonstration of this technical marvel, I present the lastest edition of Cotton's Journal on the kindle2. It's easier on the eyes than your monitor screen. I hope to be able to purchase one of these this year, hopefully before Christmas and before a kindle3 comes out. Oh yeah, to read the above without eye strain, enlarge the picture by a single click.

The Journal of Cotton Adams #27

May 7, 1740

One of the books I carry with me is Facets of Grace by Edward Eddington. Here is a quote I want you to remember as I relate to you the time I met John Chapman, or as most folk know him, Johnny Appleseed.
"When one's belief is defined it is doctrine. But it is only Biblical doctrine if it is in total harmony with the whole counsel of God."

As I recall, it was a cool, clear night. I had been in the saddle for hours and was thinking about bedding down for the night when I spotted a fire flickering in a clearing up ahead. As is my practice, I began singing "Amazing Grace" so as not to alarm whomever I am approaching, and to let them know I am a man who loves the Lord. I could smell meat being roasted and the scent of apple cider in the air.

"Ho brother! Come sit a spell! I was praying for some company and for someone to share this meal with. I guess you are the answer to BOTH prayers!"
The man who spoke was extremely thin with gray hair and beard down to his belly. His voice was surprisingly high-pitched for his stature. His clothes were tattered and his feet were bare as the day he was born.
"The name's John...John Chapman. Some people call me Apple Jack, but mostly I am known as Johnny Appleseed."
"I am pleased to meet you. My name is Cotton Adams. I am a circuit riding Doctrines of Grace preacher."
"Well, I'll be pickled! I'm a missionary with the Church of the New Jerusalem. I don't like to kill animals but, this was self-defense. Hope you like bob-cat and 'taters."
"Well, thanks but I'm not hungry. I will take a cup of your apple cider though."
We continued small talk for a while. He told me of his planting millions of apple seeds everywhere he went, and about his celibacy and charity work in each town he visits. I was eager to find out if this man really knew the Lord.
"Tell me about this church you mentioned." I said, drinking down my third cup.
"It was started by Emanuel Swedenborg. And we preach news right fresh from Heaven! He has written a third testament that adds present revelation from God to the Bible. It says if you don't get married here on earth, you can have two wives in Heaven!"
I had read some of Swedenborg's works but I let Johnny continue.
"That ol' Emanuel fella, he has visited Heaven and Hell many times. He wrote all about his visions, dreams and experiences and I believe him!"
"Mr. Chapman, I have actually read his book on his mystical journeys and it is structured exactly like Dante's "The Divine Comedy".
"So what! Maybe this Dante fella stole it from Swedenborg!"
"That's hardly possible since Dante was born in 1265 A.D.!" I stated emphatically.
"Well, then I would have to say that Dante made the same journey! Thus verifying Swedenborg."
"I can see you refuse to see the heresy in front of your face. You need to listen to God's Word and forsake Emanuel's teaching and repent and embrace Immanuel, The Lord of Glory! Sin has made you rotten to the core, Johnny Appleseed. And the confusion you spread will wilt and die like the tree Jesus cursed. Be assured of this one thing. Those elected to salvation are the apple of God's eye. You are a prisoner of the Devil himself. I can only pray God plants HIS seed in the soil of your soul. Only time and eternity will tell. I thank you kindly for the cider. Please consider what I have said. Swedenborg will split Hell wide open and all who follow him will end up in the same place."

With that I mounted my horse and rode off. By the time I reached the next town, I had my sermon outline:

Adam's Apple - The fall of the first Adam and the triumph of the last Adam
(I changed the TULIP to APPLE)

All born through Adam are totally depraved
Predestined election is God's choice, not mine
Particular Redemption never failing
Love and grace of God creates love for God by grace
Everyone born of God is preserved for Heaven

The Journal of Cotton Adams #26

October 23, 1739

I took horse at half past three. There was no moon or stars, but a fog so thick that I could see neither road nor rock. I was headed for Bad Manors, a town with a reputation for it's lack of hospitality. The fog quickly vanished as I drew nigh to Bad Manors revealing the dawning of a new day.
As I approached a fork in the road, the mist fell again on every side, blinding me and my horse as well. Because of this, Calico, my faithful steed, stepped on the fork and injured the tender part of his hoof. The pain caused him to throw me into a watery bog and I was covered from head to toe with a putrid layer of mud and vegetation. Thanking God all the while for what could have been a deadly fall on sharp rocks, or a rattlesnake bite instead of a carelessly thrown eating utensil.
I took Calico's reins and walked him into town. After bandaging his foot at the livery stable, I left to find a room and clean myself up. I was scheduled to preach in the evening at the only evangelical church in town.
True to the town's reputation, the innkeeper was extremely rude and rather brash. I took much abuse before I even registered my name. I could take no more when he said with a scowl, "If I had a son who was an idiot, I would make him a preacher!"
"Evidently, your father," I replied, "was of a different opinion."
I picked up my saddlebags and went upstairs.
Feeling more guilty by the minute for my remark, I went back sometime later to apologize to the innkeeper, only to find someone else in his stead.
"Where is the gentleman who was here a few hours ago?"
"They rushed him to the doctor because he discovered he had another mouth to feed!" said the bald-headed man without looking up from his book.
"That doesn't make sense," I stated.
"It does if you have a tapeworm!"
I returned to my room to pray for his well being.
Coincidentally, my sermon tonight is entitled, "Hell - the place where the worm dieth not."

Arminian TV Show Bonanza

ABC (The Arminian Broadcasting Company) in association with the 700 Club presents "The Ponder-osa". Join Ben Notright and his sons, Adam, Hoss and Little Joe as they sit around the ranch pondering Arminian theology.
In tonights episode:
When a Calvinist circuit riding preacher, Grant Revelation, (played by Jimmy Steward) is found wounded and beaten by a group of chariamatic outlaws known as, "The Name It and Claim It Gang", Ben takes him to the ranch to recover. During his stay, the preacher convinces the Notrights that the Doctrines of Grace are true. Ben changes the name of his land to the "Wonder-osa" because of the wonderful grace he has been granted from God. He also changes the family name to "Heartright" and starts raising sheep, thus, bringing the series to an end because of the angry Arminian sponsors.
There is a rumor that CBS (The Calvinist Broadcasting System) will pick up the program after the fall.
NBC (Nothing But Charismatics) executives said Friday that they will have nothing to do with the series unless the writers are willing to be slain in the spirit.

Sold Out

This special edition is no longer available anywhere on the planet!

The Cotton Adams Statue

Little known fact: Cotton Adams came up with the "Alphabet Travel Game" while on horseback in 1747. You start with the letter "A" and find one on a sign, cattle brand, wanted poster, carving on a tree or grave marker, say the word and then move on to the next letter. You can do this as a self-challenging competition with a given time limit or together with a traveling companion. The first one to get to the letter "Z" is the winner!
Special thanks to Cha Cha Forester for sending me this photo.

The Journal of Cotton Adams #6

October 3rd, 1737
Don't know what I'd do without my horse, Calico. I will never forget the day Calico was acquired!
I remember finishing up a three week preaching engagement at Yeehaw Junction Primitive Baptist Church a little over a year ago. I had announced my intentions of starting a circuit riding ministry. I knew God would provide the transport if I would just step out on faith.
At the chicken and biscuit dinner that followed, I saw an old, leathery man with crossed eyes and a mole the size of Rhode Island make his way through the crowd."Cotton...my name is Zane Doodle. I have been a deacon here at this church as long as you've been breathing!"
"I am pleased to meet you, Deacon Doodle." I smiled and shook his hand.
"Well, you need a horse and I have one I want to give you! I won't take no for an answer."
It was an answer to my prayers, I thought."A horse is a curious animal, he eats best when he doesn't have a bit in his mouth." He chuckled at his own joke and slapped me on my back.
"C'mon, follow me out a ways!"
For some unknown reason he wanted to exit out a window in the rear of the building. We walked for a good forty or fifty minutes until we came upon an large, red barn that was in desperate need of repair."Now, go in there and pick the one that suits your fancy!"
Then Mr. Doodle bolted away, running as far as his skinny knee-britches would carry him. I could barely see him for the dust.When I entered the barn, I discovered hundreds of hand-painted, wooden horses and a dozen or so metal cows...yes, Deacon Doodle was one sandwich short of a picnic.
I walked eight miles to the town of Dry Fork and bought Calico for ten dollars from a Christian blacksmith named Lyman Meeps.

The Journal of Cotton Adams #4

July 22, 1737
"The Preacher", as he preferred to be called, was a man by the name of Booder Butterbean, a tall, lanky fellow with ears the size of blacksmith anvils. I providentially discovered his unique ministry while on my way to Granville county. He had a wagon full of Bibles and Gospel tracts, and a portable pulpit he had built himself. He called it, "I Drive U Buggy - Evangelistic Ministry on Wheels". He had also made little cards he gave to all who wanted them. These cards were brightly decorated and printed on them were the words, "Verses in Scripture Applied". He said they were a reminder to memorize and apply to one's life...he called them "VISA cards". He started out with a song - "I preach from Grace-filled doctrines with a banjo on my knee". Then he cleverly used the acronym BANJO and molded his sermon thusly:
B - Bad to the bone
A - All the elect drawn
N - Nobody but the Bride of Christ
J - Just as irresistible as can be
O - On the pages of the Book of Life forever!


He ended his sermon with a banjo solo and a double backflip and the townsfolk received him gladly. I made my way to the front of the crowd, introduced myself, and asked for an audience with him later that day. Then I found a large oak tree and bedded down for a short nap. Shortly afterwards, I awoke from my slumber by Preacher Butterbean and a large group of towns people.
"Well, here I am Mr. Adams, and I brought an audience with me!"
His lack of formal education had an innocent quality and we became the best of friends. I was certain we would meet again someday soon.

The Journal of Cotton Adams #1

June 14th, 1737

I preached at Charleston, to abundantly more than the house could contain. The subject of my sermon was "Heavenly Horse Sense or the Ability to Say Nay". Some wag mentioned afterwards that he thought it was a very stable message.
As I was about to depart, a hairy, barrel-chested man asked if I would answer a question that has plagued him for some time. Without so much as a pause, he began to tell me, in detail, of his most unfortunate life. He told me incident after horrid incident. His wooden leg, it appeared, had acquired a nest of termites...he talked of his losing his glass eye during a hailstorm a mere two weeks before...he said his hair would catch fire during the monsoon season for no apparent reason...he sadly explained how his dog of eleven years had left him for another master...he mentioned how his entire forty acres of corn had popped during a heat wave last summer...he even ranted about his recurring dreams of golden plowshares and boll weevils.
After a full hour of his chronicles, I seized upon a pause in his loquacity...
"Sir," I implored, "what was your question?"
He cleared his throat, looked into my eyes, and asked, "What would you charge to perform a wedding this evening?"
"Ten pounds," I amiably replied.
He stared at me, emotionless, for what must have been three full minutes, twisted his tiny mouth and asked..."Ten pounds of what?"
It was at that moment I knew I was in the presence of a madman.

Cotton Adams Journal beginning soon

Stay tuned for further developments in this new series. This was a great surprise to me. With it comes great responsibility to post his writings. My great-great-great-(etc.) grandfather, T. Bone Eddings, had buried a time capsule, in the form of a metal box, on his farm in West Virginia, where Cotton Adams passed away. Cotton gave T. Bone his journal and asked him to bury it by the tree shaped like George Whitefield's left arm. I was given the box, containing his journal, on the anniversary of my appendectomy. I hope to share some of the entries with those who care...and those who don't.