Guns N Tulips

Heaven

Mime Utmost Forest Highest

Wesley believed that he could create a new ministry with motion only. His first silent sermon was entitled, "Now is the mime for salvation".

The Journal of Cotton Adams #3

June 16th, 1737
Quite worn from a most exhausting day of preaching, I felt the need to retire for the evening. Mrs. Plodmullet placed her hand on her husband's arm.
"Sir," she said reverently, "you may take your nights rest in the master bedroom."
"No need, my dear madam. A cot or hammock will suffice, I assure you." I protested in a most reformed manner.
"Oh, no...we insist. Besides, my husband and I have been sleeping on our roof as they did in Biblical times."
"But, your roof is diagonal. The roofs in the Holy Land were flat!" I asserted with all the Calvinistic plumb I could manage.
"That explains why we keep waking up in the bushes."
My cognitive powers ushered in the fact that they both had a few buttons missing.

No ER for EE

Thanks everybody! Looks like I will stay out of the ER...at least, according to the prophecy! 30 "followers" is nothing to sneeze at. Besides it's rude to sneeze at ANY number of members. Baklava Koos Koos appeared in my neighbor's dream last night and told him I should give him a twenty dollar bill, my watch, and a bucket of chicken. I hope YOU don't start dreaming about him any time soon... I can't afford it...

The Journal of Cotton Adams #2

June 15th, 1737

Taught in the home of local artist, Wooster Plodmullet this evening. Following the lesson, Mr. Plodmullet unveiled his recently completed masterpiece, still mounted on an easel. It appeared to be an untouched piece of canvas.

"How do you like it?" Wooster proudly asked me.

"Fine...but, what is it?"

"It represents the passage of the children of Israel through the Red Sea!"

"But...where is the Red Sea?" I asked.

"It has been driven back - as related in the book of Exodus, chapter 14 verses 21 and 22."

"And where are the Israelites?"

"They have crossed over."

"What about the pursuing Egyptians? Where are they?"

"They haven't yet arrived."

I began to realize his mind was as blank as the canvas I was viewing.

12 Days of Christmas (revised)

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Twelve commentaries,
Eleven Christian magnets,
Ten CD's playing,
Nine Kinkade paintings,
Eight maps of Joppa,
Seven books by Calvin,
Six Spurgeon sermons,
Five TULIP rings,
Four Christian mints,
Three Pink books,
Two Bible cups,
And a copy of The Sovereignty of God!