Benny Finney's Post

The Proper Way

Now that you all know about the origin of the high five, click HERE if you forgot, modifications are in order for Calvinists, in this generation, to maintain the practice. The world quickly adopted this signal for their own use and hiding the fact that John Calvin came up with the idea in the first place.  

So the above photo illustrates the 21st century method of greeting other Calvinists. Calvinists are free to use any and all the above whenever and wherever it applies.

The Masked Arminian Pastor #7

Secret of the High Five

According to Wikipedia the high five is a celebratory hand gesture that occurs when two people simultaneously raise one hand, about head high, and push, slide or slap the flat of their palm and hand against the palm and flat hand of their partner. The gesture is often preceded verbally by the phrase "Give me five" or "High five".

Unknown to most of the world, is the fact that John Calvin created this "signal" to secretly confirm the belief in the five points of Calvinism in the public square. Below is a painting of John Calvin high-five-ing William Farel, who is just outside the painting.

Arminians use this gesture without knowing the significance behind it.

Below is a photo of two Arminians after a successful snake-handling service.

"High five" was also used by Jonathan Edwards, A.W. Pink and Corky Velveeta.

So next time someone says, "Gimme five"...explain the origin and be on your way.

Arminian Antics #30

Arminian Blogger Interview

Looking for Calvin's Grave

For My Arminian Friends

Arminian publisher, Amy Simple McFireside, hawks the newest book, "Against Calvinism" on the streets of Chicago. That same book will soon be available to purchase once again. Find out all about it right here!

Part of the review reads:

"This resource is one for those of both theological viewpoints to read. We think one will find that at the end of the day, in the real world, the Calvinist reaction may be slack-jawed astonishment as his Arminian friend lays out the logical arguments and supporting Scriptures contained within this tome. We have labored to make the arguments refuting Calvinism simple and plain enough that even the “babe in Christ” – one who is still on the spiritual milk – can understand, memorize and communicate them."

I have ordered one myself! I suggest everyone do the same, whether you are a Calvinist, an Arminian or something in-between.

Could be a Trap

From Satan to Saint

Zeal

Word Association #7

Antiques

A fine find

Maybe It's Kneaded

Calviiiin

Head Rest

Before anyone writes and says, "Eddie, dude, you've got it all wrong! It's PILLARS! NOT PILLOWS YOU CALVINISTIC CLOWN!" Please stop, put down your computer and rest assured that I know this. It's called a play on words...it's supposed to take the original idea and make it humorous. It's like saying, "A dog not only has a fur coat but also pants." It's hard to come up with new ideas every day! Really it is.

Calvin's Birthday

All Calvinists Invited

I want to be the first to announce the Calvin 600 which will be an even bigger birthday bash than the 500. It will take place in Denver, Colorado (sort of a midway point) at the Denver Convention Center. The admission is FREE! ...and there will be FREE FOOD, FREE TEA, and best of all, FREE BOOKS! Everyone who attends will receive a full-color hologram of John Calvin just like the one pictured above. (click on the photo for a more detailed view) Mark it on your calendars! July 9th, 2109. See ya there!

2 Events Causing Some Calvinists Alarm

Two events have attempted to take the focus off of today's 500th birthday bash for John Calvin:

1. O.J. Simpson's birthday falls on the same day as JC's and
2. What will be known in the annals of history as "The Penguin Bazooka Rampage".

It seems a colony of penguins from Antarctica have been seeking out Open Theists and blowing them away. Police have arrested ninety seven but several have been in hiding since last night. A note was found by the police by an abandoned bazooka, but no one can understand the scribblings.

"Even though Open Theists are heretical in their theology, we cannot condone the actions of these renegade penguins!" said Pastor/teacher/movie reviewer Joe Bob Calvin, a Texan who claims to be a descendant of the famous reformer. (Happy Birthday old friend)

Wisdom from the Nelsons

Few may remember how heavy the theological content was on "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet". Here is an episode where little Ricky Nelson, at the time only seven, asks his dad about a hermenuetical concern he had when reading Scripture:

Ozzie and the boys are at breakfast. Harriet is at the stove.

HARRIET: And there's a couple more pancakes here, if you guys are ready.
DAVID: They sure do taste good, Mom.
RICKY: Yeah, they sure do, Mom.
OZZIE: Would you pass me the syrup, please, Rick?
DAVID: Boy, nobody can make pancakes like Mom.
RICKY: Nobody can eat like Pop.
OZZIE: Just a second, young fellow. Think you're doing pretty well yourself for such a little guy.

RICKY: I take after you, Pop! ...uh, I have a question from today's Bible lesson..

OZZIE: Well, son, I'm all ears! What's bothering you?

RICKY: It's about certain verses that seem to indicate that God changes His mind

OZZIE: It just seems that way because that portion of Scripture is written as a narrative! It's from a human perspective. Remember the little acronym I made so you could recall the principle?

RICKY: I guess I kinda forgot...

DAVID: I know what it is, Pop! "DON" ...like when you don a hat or baseball cap!

OZZIE: That's right! "DON" stands for "Didactic Over Narrative". When you read a passage that is narrative you interpret that passage with teaching, instructional, didactic passages...say, from the Book of James or Romans or Ephesians! God never changes His mind. The Bible clearly states that He never changes at all. He is immutable! So..."DON your thinking caps" when you read the Bible!

RICKY: Thanks Pop!

DAVID: You're the greatest!

OZZIE: Well, I don't know about that...

HARRIET: Well, John Calvin, you've got syrup on your tie!