News Flash!

The Day of the Open Mic Night

 

Welcome to the very first Open Mic Night! We have a great show for you tonight so just sit back and enjoy these five, bright new comics as they try their best to make you smile. They have worked hard on these entries, so I would ask that you show your appreciation by either sending me several thousands of dollars or applauding after each post.

The first one up is a man who is clever and witty, and I could go on, except I am having a terrible time reading his handwriting...Ladies and gentlemen, I present, the Truthinator!

 

John: I know there are some Emergents around here. The stench of Universalism is in the air!

Dean: I wouldn't be surprised. There's so little Bible knowledge around that people are fallin' for false teachin' left and right.

Ricky: There's a stranger in town from the southern Californy territory givin' out tickets to a garden party. I hear the Jonas Brothers will be singin'.

John: You stay away from those Emergent garden parties, pilgrim.

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Our next comic is a long time blogger. His brother doesn't work either. Here is Rob Marsh...

 

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I could stand up here an hour and talk about our next comic's accomplishments - but only if I talked really, really slow. So without further ado, I present to you, a man who is his own biggest fan, Taylor Meece. 

 

Eddie Eddings decides to fire his only gag writer at Calvinistic Cartoons, because he found out that he was a spy for Arminian Antics and he also never used deodorant.

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Remember folks - I just introduce them. I don't guarantee them.

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And now, a man who has made anonymity a household name...please welcome, Dr. Ralph "Rafe" E. Spraker, Jr., from Columbia, South Carolina!

 

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Before I introduce our last comic, let me remind you that no one is perfect. Last, we have a man who can point to many amazing accomplishments in his lifetime. Unfortunately, none of them are his - I present Geoff Flahardy.

 

Sometimes the Arminian message just doesn't hit home with folks.

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That's it for this evening! It's been MORE than an honor to be your MC tonight...it's been an inconvenience. Thanks for coming and please help clean up a little before you leave. We'll be back soon if the creek don't rise and no one sets fire to the building! So until next time ... don't forget to buy da book!

 

Seven Days Away!

Coming Soon! Open Mic Night

Ever since I started this blog I have had jokes and ideas sent my way. It was sort of awkward for me to turn someone down because it wasn't a perfect fit. Often I would suggest they start their own blog. (Actually Phil Johnson suggested that to me - again, Thanks Phil - I'm glad I took your advice!)

So now, I think I have come up with an idea that will satisfy everyone!

Open Mic Night at Calvinistic Cartoons

This will be an occasional feature where I don't have to do anything but post the photo (as is) and joke (as is). The "comic" will be introduced so please send a brief, funny bio along with your photo (HAS to be at least, a medium size JPEG) and the caption or dialog in the email. Keep the jokes theological. That means you can joke about denominations, Arminians, Calvinists, Atheists, Cults or Evolutionists. Just keep it clean (photos and jokes). I will let the comic know when "he is on" by email. Please, not only invite your friends, but ask them to become a follower of this humor blog. It's free! Costs them nothing!...and besides, my goal for 2011 is to have seven hundred million loyal fans...or semi-loyal fans, either way.

My email address is printed on the bottom of the poster. It's real. No joke.

Announcement!

The Calvinistic Comedy Club will have it's first Open Mic Night on Friday, October 8, 2010. I will pick 5 (the number of Grace) of the best comics to stand and do their best to make you laugh or bring a smile to that tired old face of yours. It may even help you sleep better. Whether yours is picked or not doesn't matter. Every joke I can use will stay in the Vault of Mirth until next time. This will be a continuing series. (until it is stops) So send in your photo (medium JPEG) send in your caption (Theological content) and send in a short and humorous bio ('cause I be the MC - and that will help me with your intro)

So instead of inviting just the people you know, why not get out the white pages and start calling every single person in your city. We have room for everyone! And you can bring all the food and non-alcoholic beverages you want! Oh yeah, and please be kind to the comedians, they need a little applause at the end of their acts. Thank you and see you at the Calvinistic Comedy Club, downtown Blogger City. Corky will open with his "Ballad of Romans 9". See ya there!



Laughsamillion

Lyrical Miracle's Open Mic Night

Here is your chance to show us your talent! YOU choose the song and change the lyrics so it has some theological message for everyone who visits Calvinistic Cartoons. Please choose a song that everyone probably knows, not some obscure number from Burma that was written in 1924. Chic & Gumbo will chose the best (in their opinion) and create a display (as in the past winners) complete with appropriate illustration/photo and the song-"righter" will receive full credit! I will post the best the first week of April. Take a crack at satirizing open theists, emergent voices, cults, heresies, or stating some great truths of the Reformation! It's open mic night...let's hear whatcha got!