Arminian Antics #49

Arminian Antics #48

Arminian Antics #47

Mayhem

Baklava Koos Koos #4

I was riding my camel, Mazel Tov, when a thick fog surrounded me. I heard a voice from behind call my name. I turned and saw no one. As I dismounted, I saw a glowing man standing in the middle of two trees. When he spoke, I felt the hair on my arms stand up as if to listen.

"Baklava…Baklava Koos Koos…I am Philius, the angel of thick fog. Do not be afraid. I have come to give you EIGHT Clues that contain an important message. Interpret the hidden command correctly, and you will receive a brand new camel saddle complete with multi-colored blankets and an monogrammed water bottle made from the skin of the Saiga Antelope.

Wigs are nothing but false hoods...avoid them throughout your life.

Adam was the first person singular. The first thing he planted in the Garden of Eden was his feet.

Shadows are the only things that never cast a shadow.

Hay is grass ala mowed.

Fires make light of everything.

Eve was a wonderful first mate who kept her husband in stitches.

Eyes, if blackened by an enemy, are nothing but a pair of socks.

The mosquito is a small insect designed by God to make us think better of the fly.

You have the clues in front of your eyes
You may need help from some who are wise."

I figured this out within minutes. I know the answer...my problem is how do I interpret the meaning?
Can anyone help me with this?

Baklava Koos Koos # 3

I was floating peacefully on my back, down the River of Rhodan, when a voice came from a small cloud overhead:

"Memorize what I will tell you, then gargle with fresh salt water and the oil of Hyssop. When the next full moon occurs, you will find an albino camel drinking from the Marsh of Medeba. Buy it from the owner, a Bedouin by the name of Tobakki. In fact, buy the whole pack of camels. When you arrive at the Village of Valkilmer, sell them to a local merchant for twice the price. Then you will have enough moola to donate half to the School of Prophets and half to the non-prophet organization known as The Samsonites. You keep ten percent of the gross and buy yourself a new robe…or, at least, clean the one you have for crying out loud! I'll get back to you later...I gotta travel to the planet Mongo for a conference. Peace out."

Create a Calvinistic Cartoon Caption #1

The winner is Doug P. Baker!
Thanks everyone for the wonderfully funny captions!
It was great fun and I will post another soon.
Doug...for your efforts...you have won the Triangulum Galaxy! That's right!
An entire galaxy just for a caption that made me laugh out loud
in the Sacred Sandwich Coffee Shop and Feed Store.

(Don't worry, I photoshopped this)
You have 7 days (not the "perfect number" but, the "number of perfection" in the Bible) to think up a caption. Then, I shall edit the photo to include the humor and give full credit to the winner. Please don't force me to have to write a caption myself. I've got writer's block.

NOTICE: Because of Thanksgiving vacation I am adding 5 days (the number of "grace" in the Bible) to the previously mentioned 7 days which equals 12 days (the number of "Divine government"). Then I am subtracting 6 days (the number of "man") and tacking on an additional 4 days (the number of "creation") which sums up to 10 days (the number of "law").

That means that on Friday, December 5th, you will need to check back for the results.