Arminian Antics #47

Sin Avenged

No Atheists in Hell

Believe it or not, there are no atheists or agnostics in Hell! The only atheists are here on earth.  There is a "Great Awakening" for those who deny the existence of God. Some of the celebrites pictured above are no longer atheists. They are believers - believers like the demons who believe. For those pictured above who are still living, God's command to repent is still in effect. Depravity, being what it is, is total, and without spiritual revelation and saving grace, there is no hope for the "earth time" atheist. I, myself, claimed to be an atheist in my teen years. Someone was praying for me. God predestines the ends as well as the means, so if you are prompted to pray for a celebrity, by "all means" do it! Atheism is, and will always be, a temporary delusion.

Bottom Line

On the Road to Hell

Letters to Vizzini

By way of introduction, Elder Vizzini Montoya, one of six elders at Cocopuff Presbyterian Church in LaQuinta, Idaho, has asked me to post his advice column here. He hopes to be an encouragement to the saints and source of wisdom for the ignorant. Vizzini attended seminary for ten straight years at Buttermilk Bible College in Sweet Tooth, Arkansas before it was simultaneously destroyed by a fire, a flood and a tornado last April.

His first entry tackles the age old "Will my pet be in Heaven" question.

Dear Vizzini,
Last week a visiting evangelist mentioned in his sermon that all pets are idols and will burn in Hell. He said all animals are born to deep fry and singled out Mr. Ed and King Kong as examples of pure animal evil. He said many pets are tail bearers and deserve eternal fire. When I asked him about my pet parrot, Mr. Beaks, he laughed and said my parrot probably never kept his mouth shut! When he left for KFC after the service, a pack of dogs and a small lemming attacked him in the parking lot. I want to know if I will see my pet, Mr. Beaks, in Heaven.
Thank you,
Sheree Sharah


Dear Ms Sharah,
That preacher doesn't know what he is talking about! He is just being bull-headed and catty. We know that there are horses in Heaven. Jesus doesn't return in a helicopter y'know. (see Revelation 19:14) Elijah went up into Heaven with the help of some horses (2 Kings 2:11) God could very well have an entire planet of just dogs, ducks or dolphins. Just remember this - If you really want your pet when you get to Heaven, God will give it to you.
In His Service,
Elder Vizzini Montoya

Spurgeon Quote

"When you speak of Heaven let your face light up. When you speak of Hell - well, then your everyday face will do."