Fan Photo from Constantine Lewis

Constantine Lewis, owner of the Lewis Shoe Horn Emporium in Choctaw, Oklahoma, sent the above photo to us this morning. He said it was proof that Dave Hunt was in da Nile. Although, I agree with Mr. Lewis' assessment, I can't send a $7,000 check because it looks like the photograph has been Photoshopped to me.

I contacted Mr. Hunt by phone who told me he WAS in da Nile but, he always has his little dog Toto by his side. So unless his little dog has drowned, I will have to declare this photo a fake.

People...this kind of thing happens sometimes.

Arminian Antics #68

The Corky Velveeta Comic Book

Before the grenade costume, before the world travels, Corky Velveeta had his very own comic book. $7,000 will be sent to Verpo Lummox who found this ad in an old comic book. I hope someday someone will discover the actual comic book. I will pay a good sum for some good copy of issue #1. Be on the look out!  

Atheist Devotional Book

Came across this book by Faye Rosehart in a used book store while I was in the States this summer. Seems that Faye Rosehart wrote this book a year before she passed on. She was a chain smoker and corn cob pipe enthusiast. This was a very strange book to read. Her idea was to have a daily guide to atheistic principles and propaganda. Faye was buried with a carton of Winstons.

Here is a page from this volume. Let me know what you think of it.

During my first month working at the book store, a red-haired man who looked like Red Buttons pushed his way through the line at the information desk and barked, "I need a book called Atheists and the Unicorn!" 

The tiny woman at the front of the line gingerly looked at him and said, "I should rip your heart out...but, you don't seem to have one."

I smiled at both of them and told the rude man, "The book you're wanting is called, Atheists and the UNIVERSE." I began walking around the counter to lead him to the shelf.

He stopped in his tracks. "No, young lady, the book I want is called Atheists and the Unicorn. It's by... let's see..." He wrinkled his brow in thought. "Kip Tawkin."

"You're close, sir," I said, "it's by Kip Squawkin."

"No, I know I'm right."

He seemed so sure of himself that I mumbled, "I check our inventory and see if it's here."

"Never mind. I will go elsewhere!"

He stormed off and got into his car. Then he drove it into our store, breaking the front glass doors and injuring four other innocent atheists.

I shot through his windshield five or six times, with my handgun, before the car door came open and Mr. Pompous Baboon fell out. 

I rushed to his side and lifted up his head. His last words were..."It's a livin'."

We informed the police before we cremated him.

What does it all matter anyway? We all wind up being nothing with a lower case "n". 

Hope this helps you as you speed through your miserable life, my friends. 

This is Faye Rosehart saying, "Love to smoke, love to drink, I think I married the missing link."  

Just for Laughs #179

Creepy, yes. I make no apology

As far as I'm concerned, so is bad theology.

Make a fitting caption for this weird photo

Every cult out there is led by a Bozo.

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Meet Tweed Adams - Descendant of Cotton Adams

Mr. Tweed Adams

Received this email today from a new fan of Calvinistic Cartoons...

Mr. Eddings,

I am a direct descendant of the famous Cotton Adams. There are a lot of parallels in our lives I wanted to share with your readers. I will also be requesting any royalties that might belong to me. 

1. Cotton Adams was a circuit rider....I used to work at Circuit City.

2. Cotton Adams had a horse....I have a hoarse throat.

3. Cotton Adams was short of stature....I am short on cash.

4. Cotton  Adams met John Chapman, other wise known as Johnny Appleseed....I bought some chapstick flavored like Apples.

5. Cotton Adams preached to a crowd of 1,000 one night in Memphis from a stagecoach....I was in a crowd of 1,000 one night in Memphis when a preacher fell off the stage.

6. Cotton Adams started churches in several states....I started to go to church in several states.

7. Cotton Adams memorized the New Testament....I once memorized the titles of the books of the New Testament.

8. Cotton Adams fasted every Friday....I eat fast food that's fried.

9. Cotton Adams read books by two candles, for extra light....I read books on my Kindle 2, which is extra light.

10. Cotton Adams died on "Calico" - his horse, while traveling to Sandy Ridge in the Spring. Thomas Sawyer recorded the story. (see Calvinistic Cartoons Tuesday, April 26, 2011 post)....I dyed my calico overcoat a sandy color on the first day of Spring. I was downloading the story of Tom Sawyer on my computer that day.

Your newest fan,

Tweed Adams