Another Letter from Buster Limburger

Brother Eddie,

Jake Herman's comment touched my heart...yea, my very soul. I need to repent (I said "need to") and would love for someone to present a list of "crazy" Arminians and "crazy" Calvinists so I can compare and see who would be the easiest to convince of my talent. I want to become part of the "Circus" of Churches and a list like that would give me access to many gulli...I mean sincere believers who have plenty of cash.

If anyone makes a comparative listing I just might send them a brand new twenty dollar bill...I said "might".

Your man in straw,

Buster

The Corky Velveeta Comic Book

Before the grenade costume, before the world travels, Corky Velveeta had his very own comic book. $7,000 will be sent to Verpo Lummox who found this ad in an old comic book. I hope someday someone will discover the actual comic book. I will pay a good sum for some good copy of issue #1. Be on the look out!  

Meet Tweed Adams - Descendant of Cotton Adams

Mr. Tweed Adams

Received this email today from a new fan of Calvinistic Cartoons...

Mr. Eddings,

I am a direct descendant of the famous Cotton Adams. There are a lot of parallels in our lives I wanted to share with your readers. I will also be requesting any royalties that might belong to me. 

1. Cotton Adams was a circuit rider....I used to work at Circuit City.

2. Cotton Adams had a horse....I have a hoarse throat.

3. Cotton Adams was short of stature....I am short on cash.

4. Cotton  Adams met John Chapman, other wise known as Johnny Appleseed....I bought some chapstick flavored like Apples.

5. Cotton Adams preached to a crowd of 1,000 one night in Memphis from a stagecoach....I was in a crowd of 1,000 one night in Memphis when a preacher fell off the stage.

6. Cotton Adams started churches in several states....I started to go to church in several states.

7. Cotton Adams memorized the New Testament....I once memorized the titles of the books of the New Testament.

8. Cotton Adams fasted every Friday....I eat fast food that's fried.

9. Cotton Adams read books by two candles, for extra light....I read books on my Kindle 2, which is extra light.

10. Cotton Adams died on "Calico" - his horse, while traveling to Sandy Ridge in the Spring. Thomas Sawyer recorded the story. (see Calvinistic Cartoons Tuesday, April 26, 2011 post)....I dyed my calico overcoat a sandy color on the first day of Spring. I was downloading the story of Tom Sawyer on my computer that day.

Your newest fan,

Tweed Adams

Fan Band Marty Doodle

Here is how one member used some of his $7,000 after he spotted Corky in a flea market and said to him, "Cotton Adams was a Calvinist". That's all you have to do. It's just that simple.

Thanks to all who have helped me in the past few years. I have really enjoyed the comments and friendship. 

Prosperity Gospel?

Received an email from Gary Waters with the above photo.

He wondered if this pastor lived up to his name.

Fan Scan from Mortimer Kavooley

Dear Eddie,

I found this old comic in the attic today. I used to hand these out to my troubled friends when I was in college. I am a big fan of the Sacred Sandwich and I noticed the name Coddington Borax on the cover. These stories were all based on true events! The only reason I am writing you instead of Angus is because I know you give out thousands of dollars for things like this...and I need a lot of money so I can retire early.

Your semi-fan,

Mort

Dear Mort,

Thank you for the attachment on your email. I am sending you a blank check. That's right my friend, it is totally blank. There is not one letter or mark on the entire little rectangular sheet of paper. Completely blank. Have a great day!

(To the readers: This may seem a little harsh to some of you but, I frequently get emails from this individual. He uses different names but, they all come from Arkham Asylum.

The man is completely insane.)

Dear Eddie,

I heard that!

Mort

Dear Mort,

And because you heard that, I will be sending you yet another totally blank check for you to fill out at your convenience!

Eddie

Dear Eddie,

Thanks dude.

Fan Letter from Pedro

Dear Eddie,
I go to a small evangelical church but lately we have had a lot of trouble with many Don Juan's in our congregation. What can I do? If you answer I will build you a cake.
Flustered,
Pedro

Dear Pedro,
Do you mean a lot of men are flirting with the women at your church?
Puzzled,
Eddie

Dear Eddie,
No, Mr. Eddie, I mean that many Don Juan to do anything! They Don Juan to give money, they Don Juan to help with the nursery, they Don Juan to help out on work day at the church, they just Juan to be ministered to. They have the "Don Juan's".
Your fan,
Pedro

Dear Pedro,
First, talk to your pastor about your concern.
Second, be an example to the others and thank God for the opportunity to serve.
Let me know how things are going.
Your friend,
Eddie

Fan Letter from Kip D

Dear Eddie,
Like, dude, you mentioned in a previous post that Satchmo Crockett (aka Ping Wu) was a DOUBLE agent. Then you went on to explain that he was an anti-Calvinist. Well, Bozo, if he were a double agent that would make him a Calvinist! Do you only have HALF a brain?
Peace out,
Kip D

Dear Mr. Crankypants,
I meant to say that he was working a double shift...and yes, I am right-brained, although my doctor says I show left-brained tendencies at times. Thanks for writing. Your kind of letters keep me on my toes - which can be very painful when you're jogging on concrete. Don't stop writing! It proves you are a man of letters.
Peace in,
Eddie