Arminian Antics #69

October Calendar 2011

Atheist Devotional Book #2

Here is another page from the devotional designed to keep atheism evolving:

My favorite flowering plant is the hibiscus. Last summer I bought a large potted red one and put it on our patio. Nurtured by rain and our sprinkler system, the plant grew like a weed in a vegetable garden. I enjoyed immensely its rich green leaves and bright trumpet blossoms. Does evolution have good ideas or what?

This winter, as the temperature dipped near freezing, I brought the hibiscus into our sunny breakfast room to protect it from the cold. There was one problem, however: I wasn't accustomed to watering the plant and I soon forgot to. Last week I discovered the hibiscus wilted, yellow, frail and no longer breathing.

I was disgusted with myself for being so neglectful to a harmless plant. I went to the closet, got out a croquet mallet and pounded it flat in front of all my other plants. I wanted them to know that I am the master.

I walked over to one of my chrysanthemums, which was in shock, and slapped it around. Then I ran over the rest of my outside plants with my lawnmover.

In the midst of all this, I wept for their evolutionary history. Just think, if plants had become the predominant life form, we might be suffering from mistreatment in the green leaves of a Venus Flytrap!

Go gently through that good night everybody. Be positive about the negative wherever your feet find you.

Another Letter from Buster Limburger

Brother Eddie,

Jake Herman's comment touched my heart...yea, my very soul. I need to repent (I said "need to") and would love for someone to present a list of "crazy" Arminians and "crazy" Calvinists so I can compare and see who would be the easiest to convince of my talent. I want to become part of the "Circus" of Churches and a list like that would give me access to many gulli...I mean sincere believers who have plenty of cash.

If anyone makes a comparative listing I just might send them a brand new twenty dollar bill...I said "might".

Your man in straw,

Buster

A Letter from Buster Limburger

Dear Calvinistic Cartoons,

I want to file a complaint...not about your blog, but against Benny Finney and his Arminian Antics! I had auditioned for the role of AA icon a few weeks ago. I memorized, not only John 3:16, but 1 John 3:16 as well. I made my own costume - I call it "Straw Man" and sang the National Anthem while juggling chain saws and torches. I lost out to Babs Gouda by one vote.

I demanded a recount, but because there were only 3 votes to begin with, Mr. Finney said, "No". 

Mr. Eddings, I have worked hard at being the best icon I could be. I previously worked at Taco Bell as a giant chihuahua icon who stood on the corner and pointed to the restaurant when a car passed by. I think I deserve this privilege more than Miss Fancy Pants. 

If you know of any other blogs...and I really don't care if they are Arminian or Calvinistic...would you please let me know? There might be a nice five dollar bill sent your way if I hear something in the next 48 hours....(remember, I said "might").

Your could-be-icon,

Buster Limburger

Fan Photo from Tyman Willikers

Seven grand goes to Mr. Willikers for the cover of this old comic book. We never knew this was featured on the cover of World's Finest. We here at Calvinistic Cartoons suspect it was Corky who influenced the writers and artist at DC comics years ago. Time travel y'know.

Just for Laughs #180

Let's see how long it takes you to pull a caption from out of your sleeve.