Wednesday, 31 August 2011

Seven Personal Things Challenge


After much prompting from two imaginary friends and my inner child, I have decided to take up the seven things challenge. I am supposed to list seven facts about my life that are usually not proclaimed upon the rooftops. All of this is real...so here goes:

1. I have a scar on my left foot shaped like the United States of America. When I was 10 years old I was playing baseball, barefoot, with neighborhood kids on the north side of Houston. I jumped a ditch to retrieve the ball and landed on a broken Coke bottle. I didn't even know what had happened until I looked back and saw all the blood on the street. My Aunt Ruby rushed me to the hospital where I was tortured by a kind doctor. My scar was the subject of laughter in the military when I pointed out Florida, New York State and the California coast line.

2. Richard Pryor once performed a skit I suggested. Before I was married, I hitch-hiked to Hollywood and attended the Pat Boone show (Hey...it was free!), whose co-host that week was Richard Pryor. Prior to the show, the staff handed out index cards to the audience. We were to write an idea for Richard to improvise. I wrote my idea and also drew a cartoon on the side. Pat Boone picked out about five skits, mine being the last and Mr. Pryor did a full ten minutes using my suggestion. The idea was simply he being a stranded photographer in Africa.

3. I have Trypanophobia. That is the extreme fear of medical procedures involving injections or hypodermic needles. I can't even watch an injection on TV or a movie.

4. I was not always a Calvinist, but I was always predestined to be one.

5. One of my ancestors was hanged for impersonating Ulysses S. Grant. I don't know the entire story but I suspect he took advantage of several townsfolk.

6. I am related to the actor, Clint Walker.

7. I used to shoplift when I was a teen, until I was scared straight after getting caught walking out of a store with a "Mad-Libs" book. They found several items I stole from Fed-Mart (mostly 8mm films) and threatened me with life in prison. They let me go without even informing my parents. I rode my bicycle  home praying all the way that my mother would never find out. I later confessed. Much later.

September Calendar 2011


Tuesday, 30 August 2011

Just for Laughs #178

The future of this post is in your hands...or mind.

One More Thailand Photo

From left to right:
Me, my wife, Mary; my granddaughter, Ameera; my daughter, Amy and son-in-law Fadel.

Monday, 29 August 2011

Where There's Smoke...


Back Back Back in the QQQ8

Well, friends and neighbors, my wife and I arrived in Kuwait and I have already recorded a radio commercial for Zain Telecommunications. It's good to be back "home" and am anxious to get back in the swing of things. I have got plenty on new ideas to Photoshop into semi-reality. So sit back, relax and enjoy the show.
This is Thailand...not Kuwait.
Still Thailand...not Kuwait.
Not Thailand...Kuwait

Sunday, 28 August 2011

Fan Photo from Sarah Bellum

We are indebted to Sarah Bellum for sending this entire issue.
$7,000 is being sent to your home address in Tapeworm, Texas.
The article I found to be interesting...especially, the mention of our rotund friend.
Be sure to click on the copy to enlarge.

Thursday, 25 August 2011

Random Word Writing Challenge #28

Write as many paragraphs as you like using the words above.
Entries may be poetry, prose, fiction, essays or interviews.
(or any other form of creatively written expression.)
Just be funny, clever and theological...
and please give your piece a TITLE.


Wednesday, 24 August 2011

Random Word Writing Challenge #26


Write as many paragraphs as you like using the words above.
Entries may be poetry, prose, fiction, essays or interviews.
(or any other form of creatively written expression.)
Just be funny, clever and theological...
and please give your piece a TITLE.

Tuesday, 23 August 2011

Random Word Writing Challenge #27

Write as many paragraphs as you like using the words above.
Entries may be poetry, prose, fiction, essays or interviews.
(or any other form of creatively written expression.)
Just be funny, clever and theological...
and please give your piece a TITLE.


Sunday, 21 August 2011

Random Word Writing Challenge #24


Write as many paragraphs as you like using the words above.
Entries may be poetry, prose, fiction, essays or interviews.
(or any other form of creatively written expression.)
Just be funny, clever and theological...
and please give your piece a TITLE.

Thursday, 11 August 2011

Just for Laughs #177

Come clean with a caption, Calvinist!

Pray for Jon Cardwell and his family

I took the liberty of posting this email that was sent to Jeff Peterson and myself. I didn't ask Jon if I could do this, so forgive me brother, if I have overstepped my boundaries. I want others to know a little about what you go through on a daily basis so that they will pray for you when God brings you to mind. You are one of my heroes...not because of your many talents and preaching skills, but because you live for the Lord Jesus Christ on the battlefield. You have held to your calling when others would have taken the next helicopter out of there. You have been a great encouragement to me and I mean this when I say, it is an honor to know you. If not for my blogging, I would have never "met" you. You have been a big part in my life. It was great talking to you over the phone while I was in the States. May God use this to grip readers with the ministry of intercession for you and your precious family. 



hello my dear brothers,

i know that you pray for me often. today i sent an email to one of the pastor's wives in the sovereign grace baptist fellowship that sends out a list of prayer requests for the ministers in the fellowship.  thought you might like to read it to pray with understanding on our behalf. here is the email below--

dearest sister greta,
thank you for your oft prayers for us.  we are thankful for the prayers of those in the fellowship on behalf of my family and me. i have been remiss in sending this to you because i see the serious nature of those who have greater physical ailments than those i suffer. linda webb, colleen liddle, larry's brother, and so many others. nevertheless, i also realize that those who have been sincerely praying for us might like to hear how i am doing.
although i have been able to do more visitations to our church membership and attenders, and more visitations to homes in the neighborhood surrounding our church, my muscles have had some intermittent, but excessive, fatigue, cramping, dexterity and coordination loss.  i average approximately 2 or 3 nights of sleep each week (even with the help of non-narcotic medication), usually going without sleep for 2-3 days at a time.  i have been keeping myself well hydrated with water and taking all my vitamins and meds (lisa sets out all my medication and vitamins for the week every week). although i'm a service-connected disabled veteran, changes in government medical aid have cut out my vision and dental, and they will no longer allow me any further neurology referrals. sometimes i cannot walk becuse of the weakness in my ankles and wrists cause me to fall even with the crutches. when my wrists are weak, it is actuall worse

my spirits are high and my joy unspeakable, however, as a merry heart doeth good like a medicine. my sermons, i'm told, have been more powerful than ever, and i know that during pulpit preaching and in visitations the lord has been so very gracious and merciful, providing me with a power from on high that is no less supernatural, no less than his own blessed and divine equipping and nourishment as he has promised in supplying our need.

i do covet the prayers of the saints because there is such a great opportunity for the work of the ministry; there are so many sick and infirmed in our little congregation that it has kept me much in the homes, hospitals, and on the phone in prayer for many. despite our light and momentary afflictions, it is much better to be spent for christ's kingdom than to be sitting in reserve for a physical relief that may never come. i realize that were it not for the grace of these ailments given me by god's sovereign providence, i may still have an overwhelming tendency toward pride and a propensity toward being puffed up in mine own righteousness, rather than where i should be-- trusting daily alone in christ's righteousness, being nourished with daily hope by his majesty as lord of all, and relying by faith upon his faithfulness to will and to work his good pleasure.

thank you for allowing me this opportunity to fill you in. it matters not any more that ther are still those who may criticize, and i'm thankful for that. in the past, and possibly still in the present, i have been rebuked as one full of self and pride for making any mention of mine infirmities; while at the same time i have also been rebuked for not making mention of mine infirmities as being full of pride because i have not let others know so that they may pray for me and for the saints whom christ has given me to feed and tend. for both criticisms, i answer, guilty as charged. apart from the grace of god in jesus christ, apart from his blessed blood, his sufficient sacrifice, and his precious propitiation, i have no lot at all in heaven; i am nothing but a wretch and the chiefest of sinners; and the best that all i do, until the blessed day of his coming, will never attain unto the honor by which christ's glory and majesty deserve.

please forgive my exclusive use of the lower case and sparse use of punctuation. the past cuple of days i have had some dexterity difficulties; and please forgive any typos as even if i do proofread this it is really not so easy makeing the corrections.

may the lord continue to bless you and keep you,

by god's grace and for his glory,

jon



Sovereign Grace Baptist Church
5440 Alabama Highway 202
Anniston, Alabama 36201
(256) 689-1283

Wednesday, 10 August 2011

A Short Note then Off to Thailand

Had a fabulous time in the States! On the flight back, my wife and I had an entire 6 seat row for ourselves. She got the 4 seats so she could lay down and sleep...I got the two, because I can't sleep long on a plane. I take short naps.
We've been in Kuwait for five days - staying up until 4:30 and 5:00 a.m.
We are leaving for Thailand this afternoon for the final two weeks of our vacation. As you can see in the photos, Corky has already gone ahead and made preparations for us. By the time we arrive, he will be headed back to the U.S. to hand out more $7,000 packages for any who know the right phrase to say when they meet him. Keep a look out for Corky in your neighborhood and continued prayer for Mary and I are always appreciated!
(For Father's Day, my kids gave me a Kindle and for my advance B-Day gift, my wife bought me an iPod Touch. -- I am advancing technologically at a snail's pace, and lovin' every minute!)


Just for Laughs #176

Empty your bag of humor on this photo

Monday, 8 August 2011

Just for Laughs #174

We could use a tundra of jokes about now

Blogs of the Week


Our own Meghan Smith has her own blog. Check it out HERE.

And for more humor and satire...Take a look at TRU.

Saturday, 6 August 2011

Listen to Doctor Lloyd-Jones

First Look

click to enlarge

Warner Bros. Pictures and Legendary Pictures have provided the first look at the new "Man of Steel," revealing star Henry Cavill as Superman in the film from director Zack Snyder.
The film also stars three-time Oscar® nominee Amy Adams ("Smallville") as Daily Planet journalist Lois Lane, and Oscar® nominee Laurence Fishburne ("The Matrix") as her editor-in-chief, Perry White. Starring as Clark Kent's adoptive parents, Martha and Jonathan Kent, are Oscar® nominee Diane Lane ("Lonesome Dove") and Academy Award® winner Kevin Costner ("Waterworld").
Squaring off against the superhero are two other surviving Kryptonians, the villainous General Zod, played by Oscar® nominee Michael Shannon ("Kangaroo Jack"), and Faora, Zod's evil partner, played by Antje Traue. Also from Superman's native Krypton are Lara Lor-Van, Superman's mother, played by Julia Ormond, and Superman's father, Jor-El, portrayed by Academy Award® winner Russell Crowe ("Gladiator").
Rounding out the cast are Harry Lennix as U.S. military man General Swanwick, as well as Christopher Meloni as Colonel Hardy and Corky Velveeta as himself.
"Man of Steel" is being produced by Charles Roven, Emma Thomas, Christopher Nolan and Deborah Snyder. The screenplay was written by David S. Goyer, from a story by Goyer and Nolan, based upon Superman characters created by Jerry Siegel & Joe Shuster and published by DC Comics. Thomas Tull and Lloyd Phillips are serving as executive producers.
Currently in production, "Man of Steel" is slated for release on June 14, 2013 and will be distributed worldwide by Warner Bros. Pictures, a Warner Bros. Entertainment Company.