The Rest of the Story

Not Fit for Human Consumption

"Open" Fire

Have Tulip Will Travel

Devotional for "Certain" Open-Theists

I am quite aware that "Certain" Open-Theists is an oxymoron. But, what can I tell ya...even oxy-morons were predestined!

Links Within

For all who know this already...just wait outside while I make this announcement. I don't assume anything with anyone anymore. (I have been slowly learning this blogging thing since November of last year. I should know more, but I don't always care.)

You can click on the words and phrases below and it will give you all the series or similar postings the key word registers. For the Tulip and Grenade cartoons, click on "grenade", for The Journal of Cotton Adams, click on "cotton adams", etc.

Go ahead, try it. When I get time, I will try and improve on these. Thanks for listening.

The staff of Calvinistic Cartoons (which consists of one)

This photo has nothing to do with anything, really...

it's just interesting, thas all.

...and now, after testing it myself, I realize that THIS post will be in every one of the words and phrases I used below. I am a doofus.

Let me mention while I am at it, that the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT will be posted here next week. Lord willing. Stay tuned and please drive carefully.

2 Events Causing Some Calvinists Alarm

Two events have attempted to take the focus off of today's 500th birthday bash for John Calvin:

1. O.J. Simpson's birthday falls on the same day as JC's and
2. What will be known in the annals of history as "The Penguin Bazooka Rampage".

It seems a colony of penguins from Antarctica have been seeking out Open Theists and blowing them away. Police have arrested ninety seven but several have been in hiding since last night. A note was found by the police by an abandoned bazooka, but no one can understand the scribblings.

"Even though Open Theists are heretical in their theology, we cannot condone the actions of these renegade penguins!" said Pastor/teacher/movie reviewer Joe Bob Calvin, a Texan who claims to be a descendant of the famous reformer. (Happy Birthday old friend)

Green Acres Wisdom

Oliver Douglas: Hi Sam, anything on sale today?

Sam Drucker: How 'bout a dehydrated chicken?

Oliver Douglas: A dehydrated chicken?

Sam Drucker: Yeah. Just add water and bones, and let it sit for a couple hours, and you might have your own reconstituted chicken.

Oliver Douglas: That's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard.

Sam Drucker: You haven't heard about Open Theism then.

The Wisdom of Open Theism

Open Theist President

Open Theist Board Game

Fan Photo from Juan Sean Kapur

The Open T-Church of Tangwallow, New Mexico

Didn't See This Coming!

Has anyone seen this program? I would like to know a few more details. It was aired during the Super Bowl so I don't think many watched it.

Spread the Word

For Christmas (if it's still here)

Anagram

No...this is not one of Billy Graham's daughters...it is a word or statement made by scrambling up the original letters. (Example: Charles Haddon Spurgeon = Ron had her old space guns...or better: Clint Eastwood = Old west action).

Here are four more for your mental files:

Arminian = "I Rain Man" (you gotta admit, Dustin Hoffman did a great job in the role)

Arminianism = "I'm Raisin Man" (someone admitting they're a dried prune)

Open Theist = "Theist, NOPE!" or "Pettish one" (ill-tempered; peevish; petulant) or "Spit on Thee" (their theology is an insult and is degrading to God's sovereign perfection!)

Open Theism = "met phonies" (I have met two and they love to consume large quantities of phoney baloney) or "pest in home!" (if they have 5 points it would spell R.O.A.C.H. ...can anyone out there help fill in this acronym with their twisted beliefs?)... I thank thee.