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Dream Interpreter Joe Prattle

Ladder Daydreams

For Googlers:

To enlarge even larger - left click on picture. Google brings up pic with black background (not much bigger, if at all). Then, right click on pic and a pop-up pops up. Choose "Open image in new tab". Then, click on new tab located now at the tab bar at the top. Now you will be able to increase the size with the little, tiny magnifying glass provided. Thanks goes to Bleach McMuffins for bringing this problem to my attention.

Finney's Nightmare

Benny Finney was afraid,

When on a pillow his head laid,

To dream of things like Romans 9;

Of Corky Velveeta and his kind.

Baklava Koos Koos #12

I knew, when I arrived at the tent of Baba Ganoush, that something was wrong. There was music playing, from a stringed instrument and a flute, but I could not tell from whence it came. I could hear weeping and mourning coming from inside. When I went to investigate, I found nothing. Not a soul. Not an animal nor a blanket. Deserted. And no sound...until, I stepped outside. This was unnerving, to say the least. But, I am a little used to this kind of thing...being a prophet and all. Still, you never get comfortable with such strange occurrences.

I decided to go back into the tent which was now sounding like it was full of an entire village of mourners. Again, the music ceased and I was left to ponder the meaning. After a few minutes of unresolved thought, I was thirsty and went out to fetch some water from the well. I couldn't believe my eyes! No well, water, no camels, no tent, no palm trees. Nothing but sand and sun.

A meteor slammed into me.

Suddenly, I awoke drenched in sweat and shaking from such a vivid dream. I turned over and spotted an angel standing at the entrance to my tent.

“Tell me angel, what did this dream mean?”

“What makes you think it was a dream, mortal?”

“Well, wasn't it?”

“Yeah, I was just joking with ya,” the angel lifted one hand and spoke again, “Your friend, Baba Ganosh, is no more. His earthly tent no longer houses his memories or soul. He's outta here.”

Saddened by the announcement, and happy for Baba, I asked if the angel could give him a message for me.

“Sure, it would be no problem for me.”

“Tell him that I thought that his last few years as a desert taxidermist were amazing. He really knew his stuff....tell him, that I intend to carve a small replica of him out of wood and carry it with me from now on. I will learn to throw my voice so it appears the replica is talking. I will make its head and mouth move to further enhance the illusion. I will come up with a routine so I can go perform my act wherever I go.”

“Okay, I'll tell him. Be right back,” the angel disappeared and immediately reappeared.

“Baba said, it's not the first time you will put words in his mouth.” Then the angel left for a place called Disneyland.

I will miss my old friend. But I will carry his little replica with me wherever I wander. He will be my little traveling companion...and now I will have an excuse for always talking to myself.

One thing though, I wish I had asked the angel about the meaning of the meteor.

Baklava Koos Koos #10

As I sat down near the Bridge of Hominy at the outskirts of the town of Chutzpenik, my old friend, Hahmina-Hahmina Ben-Loafen, walked up to me with a look of wonder plastered on his face. I may have mentioned before that we attended the School of Prophets together, back in the day.
"Please, Baklava, interpret my dream! I do not understand what it means! I cannot get it out of my mind!"
"God willing, my friend, tell me what you have seen in your sleep," I said as I bit off a piece of meat from a roasted turkey leg.
"I met a little man in my dream. He said his name was Ephod Ben Hosen. He wanted me to meet his twin daughters. When I asked their names, he laughed.
"My daughters were womb-mates. Their names are Urim and Thummim. They have certain "gifts" and can impart them to whomever they please. Come with me." He laughed again and opened a door that suddenly appeared. He stepped through the door and motioned for me to follow.
"Do they possess the gift of prophecy?" I asked.
"No." He said and continued to walk up a hill.
I could see a small cottage in the distance.
"Do they have the gift of healing?"
"No."
"How about the gift of knowledge...do they have that?"
"You'll find out what kind of gifts soon enough...now pick up your speed!"
When we arrived at the cottage, Urim and Thummim came out, each with a colorful bag.
They were very beautiful and I could hardly speak because of the uphill climb.
"Here is a gift from my sister and a gift from me", they both said simultaneously, "Open them now."
In each bag was a plastic container used in households to contain food and keep it airtight. They said each container had a "burping seal" to insure that the food was locked safely away.
"I don't even know what "plastic" is, Baklava...can you interpret this dream for me?"
I looked Hahmina-Hahmina straight in the eyes, put my hand on his shoulder and said, "No, I have no idea."
I told my friend I would get back to him later. I am hoping someone out there has an interpretation.
Do you know what his odd dream could mean?

Baklava Koos Koos #9

As I approached the water well in the middle of the town of Basmati, an old friend came running up to me with a look of fear in his eyes. His name was Hahmina-Hahmina Ben-Loafen. We attended the School of Prophets together when we were young.
"Please, Baklava, interpret my dream! I do not understand what it means!"
"Calm down, my friend, and tell me what you have seen in your sleep," I said as earnest as I could manage.
"I was standing by the Falafel River, and behold, there came up out of the Falafel River, five cows attractive and plump, and they fed in the reed grass. And behold, five other cows, ugly and thin, came up out of the Falafel River after them, and stood by the other cows on the bank of the Falafel. And the ugly, thin cows ate up the seven attractive, plump cows. Then I awoke in a cold sweat. Please tell me, what does this mean?"
I paused for a moment to take in this strange revelation my friend had been given.
"There is only one thing this could mean . . . your cattle will become cannibalistic by tomorrow if we don't kill them and eat them tonight!"
I know the towns people were happy as we sat around that evening enjoying the steaks and ribs my old friend had provided...and, that night, Hahmina-Hahmina slept like a baby.

Baklava Koos Koos #5

I was washing my feet in the murky waters of the Kuru River when I fell into a deep sleep. I found myself in a large, empty room with no roof, that seemed to be suspended in the clouds. Suddenly, there appeared in the center of the room, an earthen bowl with letters floating in broth. The letters spelled out the name, "Razzendahcuben". A door swirled into view and an angel stepped through with an immense, short-handled mallet. He spoke in a melodious whisper.

"This is for you Baklava Koos Koos".

Then he pointed to a box with several holes on the surface.

"Try and hit as many gophers as you can!"

Then, one by one, gopher-like dolls popped up only to descend again. I managed to hit thirty two out of forty (the number of testing). Lights starting flashing, bells rang out, little bits of multi-colored parchment burst from on high and floated down on my humble frame.

The angel pulled back a curtain that appeared out of nowhere revealing a horse.

"This is your prize! You have won an oats-mobile."

I awoke from my sleep and wept…for I had no prize…and my sandals were missing.

I think I might need some help in the interpretation. Do YOU have the ability to interpret dreams?