Arminian Antics #100

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A Letter from Placebo Belkins

This package came in from the U.S. yesterday from a Dr. Placebo Belkins. Included in the envelope were some DVD's of Belkins lecturing at Yale. (not the university - the Yale Lock and Hardware Company) Here is part of the three page letter sent:

Dear Mr. Eddings,

I hope this letter finds you in good health. I am interested in becoming a writer for your blog. As you can see by the printed copies of my certifications, I am more than qualified to direct your funny little blog into a more focused theological one. I hear you are leaving for the States this summer. I would like to suggest you hire me for the three months in which you'll be traveling. I happen to know you will be visiting Houston, Dallas, Durango and London, England.

I am willing to work for half my normal fee of $200 a day. I promise more readers, more followers, more comments, more pizzazz and more solid content. It's easy to see your days are numbered. You can't keep this up forever. Take a mental vacation and let me take over the writing for the months of June, July and August. You won't be sorry.

Waiting for your response,

Dr. Placebo Belkins

P.S. There is no tracking device in this envelope.

When I finished reading the letter, I began to put everything back in the large envelope. That's when I noticed...inside the package - glued to the bottom - was a tracking device with the initials N.P. written on the top. The only N.P. I know of, besides Natalie Portman, is Nigel Pettibone! This was a trap! I have destroyed the package and it's contents. Hope it wasn't too late.

  

At What Cost?

A Church Clubhouse

They're Not All Alike Y'know

Skip is Back!

Giving

A Letter from Bobo Laughface

 

Dear Eddie,

You may not know this but, even though I am a follower of Arminian Antics, I still read your blog whenever I feel down. Like right now. As you may or may not know, (you choose) I was on a $7,000 paid vacation (I won this by telling Corky Velveeta that Cotton Adams was a Calvinist) and I ran out of money on the second day of my stay in the Cayman Islands. I really could use another $7,000 to get back home! I have already asked every Arminian friend and relative I know, and they all chose to say no. So I thought I would ask any Calvinist out there if he, or she, feels predestined to hand over seven grand to a man with needs. I can promise that when I return home, I will start asking for money to pay you back AND with 2% interest for your trouble. I hear most Calvinists are richer than a bowl of Cool Whip and wanted to let you know that to help an Arminian is like helping a human being. Thank you and best of luck,

Bobo Laughface

Limerick of the Slain

Slay to Prey by Eddie Eddings
There once was a man named Wayne,

Whose spirit at a revival was slain.

As he was a shakin',

His wallet was taken,

When he awoke he was on a freight train!

No Scruples

Fan Photo from Ella Vader

Ms Ella Vader of Norman, Oklahoma will be getting a $7,000 check for discovering the new Corky app for the new ipad thingamabob.

Who knew?  

Thanks Ella, we hope the money will give you a lift!

The Young and the Reckless

New Look New Offer

With the new look at Calvinistic Cartoons (hope it agrees with all of your aesthetic sensibilities) I am making a brand new offer! One that will be easy for everyone!

The person who makes the millionth comment on this blog will receive a nice, crisp ten dollar bill! That's right! Ten bucks for just making a few comments! Get busy dear readers, there's a ten spot a'waitin'.

Play WORDO