The Island of Death

Muck and Mire

A New Hymn from an Emergent Hymnal

Pictured above is the new hymnal from Rob Bell's second cousin on his mother's side, Vern Mayfly, who edited the volume and wrote sixteen of the songs featured in the book. There is a hidden message in each of the "hymns" and this one is no exception:

Jesus help me grab the rope

Only you can toss me hope

Heaven is for all they say

Never to leave and go away

Christ helped me up when I was down

All souls are lost, all souls are found

Love wins big time in eternity now

Very soon everybody will choose to bow

I know my heart will love again

Never to sin against tree or men

Hell is really no place to fear

All who die will not go there

Devils and demons might stay awhile

Nobody else will walk that mile

Once people die they'll see the light

Closed eyes will open to the sight of

Love in sandals, robe and crown

Until that day we'll walk around

Ever witnessing to His love come down (hey nani nani and a hot cha cha)

So, as you can see, their theology is twisted, sister. Be warned.

Medicine for the New Emergent

Tulip Redefined by Emergents

One of the fan photographers, Mittens Maguire, sent this to our offices in Kuwait. She was vacationing in Monkey's Eyebrow, Kentucky when she spotted this billboard. Thanks, Mittens. We will be sending you a nice fat check or $7,000 for your help with this blog.

D.U.I.

Forgotten Cults #3

Kevin the Prophet

Kevin Moonbeam Davis, otherwise known as Kevin the Prophet, started preached his odd doctrine of santification in 1936 at the world's first washeteria.

His belief that sinners should be "cleaned by a washing machine" and his vision of the future where the earth's inhabitants will be nothing but floating brains, gave the cult it's name, "The Brain Washers".

Kevin also taught that hiccups were a sign of demon possession and the only way to exoricise the demonic spirit was to stop, drop and roll.
The Brain Washers were known for going door to door, in pairs, and handing out bars of lye soap shaped like tiny brains. Once invited inside the home, they would pretend to drop dead and come back to life.
"Clean the unseen to maintain the brain" was their mantra.
Kevin claimed to have been raised by wolves and would eat dog food for breakfast on special occasions.
"Wolves are very clean animals", he would say to reporters, "they always kept their caves tidy and neat. And when we traveled, we always used anti-bacterial soap to wash our paws before chowin' down on a deer or armadillo."
"When I saw my first washing machine, I heard the voice of an angel tell me to stick my head in and wash away all my troubles. I was never the same after that. I knew my mission in life. It was filled with suds. Suds of cleansing. Suds of power. Suds of love."
Kevin the Prophet was struck by lightning one night as he was laundering money in a washeteria near San Jose.
All of his followers blended into the Emerging Church movement and were never seen again.

Talking Watch for Emergents

Emerging Fashion

Emergent Summer Movie

Journey to the Center

Emerging From Their Village

Emergent Animation

Mixed Up Game

Strange Days Indeed

The Church is in need of Bunyans!