The Island of Death

Muck and Mire

Isn't that Special?

Caught on Camera

Tony Compolo, seen here, talking to Brian McLaren and Rob Bell about actualizing Roman Catholic mysticism into a user-friendly, non-offensive worship paradigm. Brian and Rob both agreed that they could use a pair of dimes for their church parking meters.

Rob Bell Produces New Movie

For cryin' out loud...click on the poster so youse guys can read the fine print!

A New Hymn from an Emergent Hymnal

Pictured above is the new hymnal from Rob Bell's second cousin on his mother's side, Vern Mayfly, who edited the volume and wrote sixteen of the songs featured in the book. There is a hidden message in each of the "hymns" and this one is no exception:

Jesus help me grab the rope

Only you can toss me hope

Heaven is for all they say

Never to leave and go away

Christ helped me up when I was down

All souls are lost, all souls are found

Love wins big time in eternity now

Very soon everybody will choose to bow

I know my heart will love again

Never to sin against tree or men

Hell is really no place to fear

All who die will not go there

Devils and demons might stay awhile

Nobody else will walk that mile

Once people die they'll see the light

Closed eyes will open to the sight of

Love in sandals, robe and crown

Until that day we'll walk around

Ever witnessing to His love come down (hey nani nani and a hot cha cha)

So, as you can see, their theology is twisted, sister. Be warned.

Medicine for the New Emergent

Tulip Redefined by Emergents

One of the fan photographers, Mittens Maguire, sent this to our offices in Kuwait. She was vacationing in Monkey's Eyebrow, Kentucky when she spotted this billboard. Thanks, Mittens. We will be sending you a nice fat check or $7,000 for your help with this blog.

D.U.I.

Talking Watch for Emergents

Emerging Fashion

The Radio Shack

Links Within

For all who know this already...just wait outside while I make this announcement. I don't assume anything with anyone anymore. (I have been slowly learning this blogging thing since November of last year. I should know more, but I don't always care.)

You can click on the words and phrases below and it will give you all the series or similar postings the key word registers. For the Tulip and Grenade cartoons, click on "grenade", for The Journal of Cotton Adams, click on "cotton adams", etc.

Go ahead, try it. When I get time, I will try and improve on these. Thanks for listening.

The staff of Calvinistic Cartoons (which consists of one)

This photo has nothing to do with anything, really...

it's just interesting, thas all.

...and now, after testing it myself, I realize that THIS post will be in every one of the words and phrases I used below. I am a doofus.

Let me mention while I am at it, that the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT will be posted here next week. Lord willing. Stay tuned and please drive carefully.

Green Acres Wisdom

Oliver Douglas: Hi Sam, anything on sale today?

Sam Drucker: How 'bout a dehydrated chicken?

Oliver Douglas: A dehydrated chicken?

Sam Drucker: Yeah. Just add water and bones, and let it sit for a couple hours, and you might have your own reconstituted chicken.

Oliver Douglas: That's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard.

Sam Drucker: You haven't heard about Open Theism then.

Mayberry Wisdom

Barney Fife: Well, today's eight-year-olds are tomorrow's teenagers. I say this calls for action and now. Nip it in the bud. First sign of youngsters going wrong, you've got to nip it in the bud.
Andy Taylor: I'm going to have a talk with them. What else do you want me to do?
Barney Fife: Well, don't just mollycoddle them.
Andy Taylor: I won't.
Barney Fife: Nip it. You go read any book you want on the subject of child discipline and you'll find every one of them is in favor of bud-nipping.
Andy Taylor: Okay, Barn...first thing tomorrow, I will talk to Phyllis Tickle's and Rob Bell's parents.

Comments? No Comment

I know you think I am going to beg for comments. Well, no I'm not. Why would you think that I would? You have a right to remain silent...and I am listening. I know you will comment when you feel there is a need. I don't want anyone out there to feel any pressure whatsoever. Do you think I comb my posts every day to see if someone has commented or not? Really? All right, maybe so...but, do you think I am so ego-centric that I need morale boosting around the clock? Well, I am working on that. I have also noticed that one just disappeared from the ranks today. No explanation. No reason given. I suspect he was forced to withdraw his membership because of the Emergent Mafia. All I want to say is hang in there saints! My time is short. My mind is fading. And I plan on continuing this as long as my laughing heart holds out. There is (and this is serious) a huge announcement I will be making in a few months. So stay tuned...if you please.

T&G #3

Emergent at 20,000 Feet

Click here for this week's episode to be in HD

Ellery T. Boss is a blogger on an airplane for the first time since his nervous breakdown six months ago.
He spots an emergent leader on the wing of the plane.
Every time someone else looks out the window,
the emergent leaps out of view,
so nobody believes Ellery's seemingly outlandish claim.
Ellery realizes that his wife is starting to think he needs
to go back to the sanitarium,
but also, if nothing is done about the emergent, he will damage the plane and cause it to crash. Ellery steals a sleeping pastor's Bible, and opens the window marked "Auxiliary Exit" to prove the emergent wrong on his view of Scripture, succeeding despite
the fact that he is nearly sucked out of the plane himself.
Once the plane has landed, although he is
whisked away in a straightjacket,
there is evidence of his claims: the unusual damage to the plane's engine nacelle — yet to be discovered by mechanics — that
presumably can only be explained as caused by something that
clawed at the structure's mainframe.

Emerging From Their Village

Just in Case