Food for Body and Soul

The Love Grenade

Strange Eschatology

An Interview with the Reverend Gucci Hummina

A small section from last weeks radio program, "Utter Prophecies":

Reverend Gucci, would you please explain to our listeners, your view of the rapture?

Well, I believe there will be a "partial" rapture. Not the partial rapture that has been touted by those who misread prophecy...y'know...some believers left behind and some taken in advance. No sir, that's just stupid. I'm of the belief that EVERY believer will be partially raptured in a twinkling of an eye.

Would you please explain what you mean?

Well, I am trying to...but, you keep interrupting me. By the way, you won't be in that number monkey man.

Y'see, "partial" means "partial", and that's all it means. When the trumpet blows...and fyi...that tune will be "Shall We Gather at the River"...Christians will have their feet taken to Heaven, first. Then, their legs, hands, arms, torso and finally, their heads. It won't be gory or bloody or anything like that, mind you, it'll be beautiful. 

That's sound completely insane if you ask me!

Well, city boy, nobody asked you! You don't get it because you are ignorant of hidden messages. It's actually a message in itself! Our feet do the walking. Our feet has carried us into sin and into church. Our feet take us where we want to go. It's been that way all our lives. So our feet go first, leaving us on our backs so we can see the Rapture unfold. 

What about those who are left? Won't they see these weird amputations occurring? 

Not at all. Y'see...time will stop for unbelievers. We will see this happen...it will last for more than an hour...but, for lost dudes, like yourself, it will all happen in a microsecond. 

How many Christians believe this? Can you back up your claims with Scripture?

Whoever reads my book, "Defeeted at the Rapture", will see the truth and will join our movement. We now have, at least, forty two, who have joined our Facebook page...and, yes, of course I can back up my claims with Scripture!.....

Well?

Well what! I don't owe you an explanation. Read my book! It's all there! Anyway, I have an appointment with Toni and Guy. I will be appearing on TBN tonight as an honored guest speaker. I tag-team preach with Jan Crouch...I just hope she doesn't interrupt me as much as you do. I'm outta here!

The First Large Print Bible

45 Things God Hates

Like it or not, love and hate are connected. If I love my wife, I will hate anything that causes her harm. One of the most profound studies one can undertake is to study what God hates. I have asked many a person to get out their Strongs Exhaustive Concordance and just let the Scriptures speak for themselves. That study has never failed to make an impact. Knowing what someone loves is very revealing - but knowing what someone hates can open your eyes to their personality as well.


43 Things God Hates

(Based on Meredith’s Book of Bible Lists)
(two more will be added at the end)
1. Homosexual acts (Leviticus 18:22).
2. Bestiality (Leviticus 18:23)
3. Idols, and the materials used to make idols (Deuteronomy 7:25)
4. Blemished sacrifices (Deuteronomy 17:1)
5. Worshipping the sun, moon or stars (Deuteronomy 17:3-4)
6. Divination (Deuteronomy 18:10)
7. Astrology (Deuteronomy 18:10)
8. Enchanters (Deuteronomy 18:10)
9. Witches (Deuteronomy 18:10)
10. Charmers (Deuteronomy 18:11)
11. Wizards (Deuteronomy 18:11)
12. Necromancers (Deuteronomy 18:11)
13. Transvestitism (Deuteronomy 22:5)
14. The hire of a whore (Deuteronomy 23:18)
15. Remarriage to a former wife after she has been married to another man (Deuteronomy 24:4)
16. Dishonest scales (Deuteronomy 25:13-16)
17. Workers of iniquity (Psalm 5:5)
18. The wicked (Psalm 11:5)
19. Those who love violence (Psalm 11:5)
20. The froward [perverse] (Proverbs 3:32)
21. A proud look (Proverbs 6:16-17)
22. A lying tongue (Proverbs 6:17)
23. Hands that shed innocent blood (Proverbs 6:17)
24. A heart that devises wicked imaginations (Proverbs 6:18)
25. Feet that are swift in running to mischief (Proverbs 6:18)
26. A false witness who speaks lies (Proverbs 6:19)
27. Anyone who sows discord among brethren (Proverbs 6:19)
28. Lying lips (Proverbs 12:22)
29. The sacrifices of the wicked (Proverbs 15:8)
30. The ways of the wicked (Proverbs 15:9)
31. The thoughts of the wicked (Proverbs 15:26)
32. The proud in heart (Proverbs 16:5)
33. Those who justify the wicked (Proverbs 17:15)
34. Those who condemn the just (Proverbs 17:15)
35. Vain sacrifices (Isaiah 1:13)
36. Feasts as Israel celebrated them (Isaiah 1:14)
37. Robbery for burnt offering (Isaiah 61:8)
38. Idolatry (Jeremiah 44:2-4)
39. Evil plans against neighbors (Zechariah 8:17)
40. False oaths (Zechariah 8:17)
41. Esau (Malachi 1:1-3; Romans 9:13)
[Actually, it’s "Jacob have I loved, and Esau have I hated" -ed.]
42. Divorce (Malachi 2:14-16)
43. The deeds of the Nicolaitans (Revelation 2:6, 15)

Joel Meredith has compiled a book of Bible lists "to entertain, interest, fascinate, stimulate and, most of all, to educate." There are some minor problems with this list, but it gives you a good idea of what things God finds to be abominations, or are detestable to Him. Somehow, the author missed a couple. By adding in the following, the list grows to 45 things God hates:

44. "You shall not set up a sacred pillar, which the LORD your God hates" (Deuteronomy 16:22).
45. "I hate, I despise, your feast days" (Amos 5:21). This goes with Isaiah 1:14: "Your new moons and your appointed feasts My soul hates."

You may have heard the expression, "God hates the sin, but loves the sinner." Although that is not a biblical statement per se, it has been accepted as a true statement. But after reviewing this list, that may not be such a sure conviction. What do you think?

Oh...and by the way, God's love and hate is different than ours. His is always a holy, righteous love and a holy, righteous hatred.

The WEPT Bible

Free NEW Online Study Bible

Don't say I never gave you anything!

Enjoy it amigos and click here.

Arminian Bible Bits

Father Knows Best

Dimly and In Part

Truth Not Misshapen

Baklava Koos Koos # 11

Today while contemplating the misery in the world, the effects of Adam's sin and the grief that one act brought about, an angel appeared in a flash of light. It frightened me so that I dove behind my sleeping camel, Humpty.
"Come out of hiding Baklava! I have something to reveal to you!"
His voice was soothing, yet had an authoritative tone like the warm winds of Lebanon.
"Speak what is on your heart and I shall show you the answer," the angel said while adjusting his sleeves.
"What is your name, O Heavenly messenger?"
"My name is Gan-el, now ask your question."
I hesitated a moment, then asked, "I know that in Heaven all will be peace, joy and happiness. But will there ever be a place where they will be found here on earth?"
"I will show you the ONLY place where they can ALWAYS be found. Prepare to travel into the future."
As soon as the angel, Gan-el, placed his hand on my shoulder there was another flash of light and I found myself in a room full of books - not scrolls - but bound in another fashion. You could actually flip the pages. Gan-el said that this place was called Mard-els. The angel handed me a very large volume that had the word, "Dictionary", written in gold on it's black cover.
"This is the only place on earth where peace, joy and happiness can always be found. Examine it and see for yourself!"
I did just that and found his word to be true.
After examining the "Dictionary" for a season, I gave it back to the angel and told him it did not agree with the Sacred Scriptures.
"How so?" asked Gan-el with a puzzled look on his face.
"in this book, pride goeth not before destruction!"
Suddenly, I found myself alone, back at my camel's side and only an echo of laughter fading away into the heavens.
I guess I must have said something funny.

The Wisdom of Open Theism

Emergent at 20,000 Feet

Click here for this week's episode to be in HD

Ellery T. Boss is a blogger on an airplane for the first time since his nervous breakdown six months ago.
He spots an emergent leader on the wing of the plane.
Every time someone else looks out the window,
the emergent leaps out of view,
so nobody believes Ellery's seemingly outlandish claim.
Ellery realizes that his wife is starting to think he needs
to go back to the sanitarium,
but also, if nothing is done about the emergent, he will damage the plane and cause it to crash. Ellery steals a sleeping pastor's Bible, and opens the window marked "Auxiliary Exit" to prove the emergent wrong on his view of Scripture, succeeding despite
the fact that he is nearly sucked out of the plane himself.
Once the plane has landed, although he is
whisked away in a straightjacket,
there is evidence of his claims: the unusual damage to the plane's engine nacelle — yet to be discovered by mechanics — that
presumably can only be explained as caused by something that
clawed at the structure's mainframe.

Just a Misuse of Scripture Song

One of the all time greats! Just click and read.

Jawbones of the Error (Era)

This analogy isn't perfect, but it's powerful. It is "dead"-icated to all who "man"-ipulate Scripture to fit their own humanistic variety. It is also for those who preach a man-centered gospel and are no longer teachable, or to anyone whose favorite "soul-dance" is "Scripture twisting"...to all the spiritually blind leaders who teach the "I-did-it-my-way" hermeneutic. (too bad they're not spiritually mute as well) and to the pompous baboons who are militantly anti-Christ to the core. Does that sound a little rough? Well...if the dancing shoe fits...

A Cut Above the Rest

Soda Scriptura

Evangelism Tip

Let me tell you the reason God decrees junk mail. I used to hate all the fat envelopes sent to me each day from who knows where...until, it hit me. The postage paid envelopes that were always enclosed were tract holders! I now pick those out, throw everything else away, and stuff a Gospel tract (usually one of my own) into them and send 'em off the next day! Somebody has to open it up...and somebody is predestined to read it. A great way to plant seeds (metaphorically speaking, of course). If you don't have a tract then write a note or enclose a verse of Scripture. Anyway you look at it, you can be a missionary and it doesn't cost you a dime! Selah my bruthas.

John 3:16

Did God give His Son that "whosoever" might not perish or that "whosoever believes in Him" might not perish?