Monday, 27 September 2010

For the Kids

Here is part of a tract I did many years ago. Thought you might enjoy it.



You can enjoy it more by clicking on it!
The last page is missing so you might want
to finish it yourself.

Marcel Marceau

Buy ze book at zis discount HERE, merci beaucoup!

Take Time To Join and List Your Blog

If you ARE a follower
of Calvinistic Cartoons...
then list your blog for everyone to see.
Give everyone a little info and even a link.
If you are NOT a follower
of Calvinistic Cartoons...
then just join now and then list your blog!
It's that simple! Everyone wins!

Sunday, 26 September 2010

Strike Up the Band


Here is a fabulous, big band sounding tribute (lyrics only - you supply the big band sound with your imagination) to Against Calvinism, by Peterson, Eddings and Cardwell. Persis, formerly known as Pilgrim Mommy, wrote this tune for her very creative blog "Invasion of the Tune Snatchers". Click HERE and enjoy!

The Only Catholic "Priest" I Enjoy LIstening To


You can download the entire album here!
This site has many other albums you can download as well.
Most are children's records.
I haven't heard or downloaded this myself,
and based on his routines, I assume there is
no bad language recorded.

As Usual

Toad Ya So


Wednesday, 22 September 2010

Coming Soon! Open Mic Night


Ever since I started this blog I have had jokes and ideas sent my way. It was sort of awkward for me to turn someone down because it wasn't a perfect fit. Often I would suggest they start their own blog. (Actually Phil Johnson suggested that to me - again, Thanks Phil - I'm glad I took your advice!)
So now, I think I have come up with an idea that will satisfy everyone!

Open Mic Night at Calvinistic Cartoons

This will be an occasional feature where I don't have to do anything but post the photo (as is) and joke (as is). The "comic" will be introduced so please send a brief, funny bio along with your photo (HAS to be at least, a medium size JPEG) and the caption or dialog in the email. Keep the jokes theological. That means you can joke about denominations, Arminians, Calvinists, Atheists, Cults or Evolutionists. Just keep it clean (photos and jokes). I will let the comic know when "he is on" by email. Please, not only invite your friends, but ask them to become a follower of this humor blog. It's free! Costs them nothing!...and besides, my goal for 2011 is to have seven hundred million loyal fans...or semi-loyal fans, either way.
My email address is printed on the bottom of the poster. It's real. No joke.

Announcement!

The Calvinistic Comedy Club will have it's first Open Mic Night on Friday, October 8, 2010. I will pick 5 (the number of Grace) of the best comics to stand and do their best to make you laugh or bring a smile to that tired old face of yours. It may even help you sleep better. Whether yours is picked or not doesn't matter. Every joke I can use will stay in the Vault of Mirth until next time. This will be a continuing series. (until it is stops) So send in your photo (medium JPEG) send in your caption (Theological content) and send in a short and humorous bio ('cause I be the MC - and that will help me with your intro)
So instead of inviting just the people you know, why not get out the white pages and start calling every single person in your city. We have room for everyone! And you can bring all the food and non-alcoholic beverages you want! Oh yeah, and please be kind to the comedians, they need a little applause at the end of their acts. Thank you and see you at the Calvinistic Comedy Club, downtown Blogger City. Corky will open with his "Ballad of Romans 9". See ya there!



150 Extra Engineers


Amazing Discovery


Price? About 13 clams!

Saturday, 11 September 2010

Just for Laughs #123


Provide a caption for these three amigos.

45 Things God Hates

Like it or not, love and hate are connected. If I love my wife, I will hate anything that causes her harm. One of the most profound studies one can undertake is to study what God hates. I have asked many a person to get out their Strongs Exhaustive Concordance and just let the Scriptures speak for themselves. That study has never failed to make an impact. Knowing what someone loves is very revealing - but knowing what someone hates can open your eyes to their personality as well.


43 Things God Hates

(Based on Meredith’s Book of Bible Lists)
(two more will be added at the end)
1. Homosexual acts (Leviticus 18:22).
2. Bestiality (Leviticus 18:23)
3. Idols, and the materials used to make idols (Deuteronomy 7:25)
4. Blemished sacrifices (Deuteronomy 17:1)
5. Worshipping the sun, moon or stars (Deuteronomy 17:3-4)
6. Divination (Deuteronomy 18:10)
7. Astrology (Deuteronomy 18:10)
8. Enchanters (Deuteronomy 18:10)
9. Witches (Deuteronomy 18:10)
10. Charmers (Deuteronomy 18:11)
11. Wizards (Deuteronomy 18:11)
12. Necromancers (Deuteronomy 18:11)
13. Transvestitism (Deuteronomy 22:5)
14. The hire of a whore (Deuteronomy 23:18)
15. Remarriage to a former wife after she has been married to another man (Deuteronomy 24:4)
16. Dishonest scales (Deuteronomy 25:13-16)
17. Workers of iniquity (Psalm 5:5)
18. The wicked (Psalm 11:5)
19. Those who love violence (Psalm 11:5)
20. The froward [perverse] (Proverbs 3:32)
21. A proud look (Proverbs 6:16-17)
22. A lying tongue (Proverbs 6:17)
23. Hands that shed innocent blood (Proverbs 6:17)
24. A heart that devises wicked imaginations (Proverbs 6:18)
25. Feet that are swift in running to mischief (Proverbs 6:18)
26. A false witness who speaks lies (Proverbs 6:19)
27. Anyone who sows discord among brethren (Proverbs 6:19)
28. Lying lips (Proverbs 12:22)
29. The sacrifices of the wicked (Proverbs 15:8)
30. The ways of the wicked (Proverbs 15:9)
31. The thoughts of the wicked (Proverbs 15:26)
32. The proud in heart (Proverbs 16:5)
33. Those who justify the wicked (Proverbs 17:15)
34. Those who condemn the just (Proverbs 17:15)
35. Vain sacrifices (Isaiah 1:13)
36. Feasts as Israel celebrated them (Isaiah 1:14)
37. Robbery for burnt offering (Isaiah 61:8)
38. Idolatry (Jeremiah 44:2-4)
39. Evil plans against neighbors (Zechariah 8:17)
40. False oaths (Zechariah 8:17)
41. Esau (Malachi 1:1-3; Romans 9:13)
[Actually, it’s "Jacob have I loved, and Esau have I hated" -ed.]
42. Divorce (Malachi 2:14-16)
43. The deeds of the Nicolaitans (Revelation 2:6, 15)

Joel Meredith has compiled a book of Bible lists "to entertain, interest, fascinate, stimulate and, most of all, to educate." There are some minor problems with this list, but it gives you a good idea of what things God finds to be abominations, or are detestable to Him. Somehow, the author missed a couple. By adding in the following, the list grows to 45 things God hates:

44. "You shall not set up a sacred pillar, which the LORD your God hates" (Deuteronomy 16:22).
45. "I hate, I despise, your feast days" (Amos 5:21). This goes with Isaiah 1:14: "Your new moons and your appointed feasts My soul hates."

You may have heard the expression, "God hates the sin, but loves the sinner." Although that is not a biblical statement per se, it has been accepted as a true statement. But after reviewing this list, that may not be such a sure conviction. What do you think?

Oh...and by the way, God's love and hate is different than ours. His is always a holy, righteous love and a holy, righteous hatred.

Fan Photo from Bob Loblaw


Thanks Bob for sending us this advertisement you found in the lastest issue of Arminian Cat Fancy Magazine. We will be sending you a check for $7,000 and a free copy of Against Calvinism as a token of our appreciation!